“Patrolling [NAME OF WHERE THE GAME TAKES PLACE] almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter.”
“mmhmm.”
“Did you get all that?”
Yes
No <
Hornswoop me bungo pony.
“Hey! Fuck-face!”
“Get out of here, Stalker! Release the Epstein Files!”
I am an NPC in S.T.A.L.K.E.R., Shadow of Chornobyl (2026 Remaster – (All we did in the remaster was fix the bugs, it is the same game you know and love except for this one NPC now reminds you of the Epstein class criminals!))
Interacting with you unlocks Epstein island at the wish granter, which teleports you into a prison cell with a broken camera and a security guard with a gun
Sometimes i doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Beetlejuice
Beetlejuice
Did you know? You can change your gender at any time by going to the OPTIONS MENU. Normally it’s a lot of work!
Oh now you have me worrying whether game devs are going to start disabling gender switching after character creation.
I wanna be like that very annoying NPC in the Pokemon Bizzare fangame that just rambles on forever about such a meaningless story. But with my own nonsensical story that has negative a million plot relevance.
Otherwise, if we’re talking like a single sentence of dialogue:
Hokus pocus, joker’s ride, come take a spin on a carnie ride
Bonus points if it’s in a medieval set game and deeply confuses the player character.
I AM ERROR.
“Please just end it and make it quick”
