The idea of a romantic attraction, while I don’t judge others romantic attraction; I hadn’t always been directly attached to romantic dates. As I was beginning to discover myself, I went from deciding on being a demi-sexual, to then realizing I was more of an aromantic type. I had been made fun at for not going on dates, but not everyone was arophobic towards me and meet some nice and accepting people, after coming out as aromantic publicly.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
We too have never really been on getting to know someone or somemany dates, though we enjoy ‘dates’ with our established partners.
We are kind of demiromantic though, so our experience may vary. However, our ‘fully’ aromantic partner has taught us a lot about relationships and that a lot of things are just unnecessary (thank goodness for relationship anarchy).
We are currently rethinking a lot about ourselves with regards to sexuality (we’re also demisexual) and romanticism, and enjoy that there is no pressure to perform certain actions or roles and we can just be ourselves.
We’re glad others have been accepting to you, we hope that the same happens for us over time with people that aren’t our (current) partners. 🙂
It seems like every few months or so I look into my identity again and may decide that, based on my last identity, that while I identify with this, but in this way. Figuring out what matches me with all the terms, isn’t necessarily difficult but self exploring can be time consuming and figuring out what fits you. While some people might look at it as romance, preassumingly.
Different perspectives can help you learn from others experiences. Having that extra confidence that you don’t have to act or be a certain way, perform certian actions can be relieving to a relationship.
Even as an aromantic person, from time to time I might head out with my partner, we might get something to eat, we don’t consider it like a romantic date it’s just casual just going out, hanging out etc. People would consider it as romance. We do bond on some things, but we’re still not dedicated to the romantic aspects. But doesn’t mean we won’t go out and eat or do activities together.
I can tell you I am accepting of you and your partners, and yeah just whatever keeps you all intact and your well being healthy just go with it.
Had someone, on Lemmy.ml question why I picked this identity. Not sure how to feel about that. Some day I posted about it on this community. On a similarly named aromantic community hosted on lemmy.world. Honestly, blahaj.zone has a more seemless vibe to it overall. This must be how the lgbtq+ community feels as a whole. While i’m still conversating with them in the comments, they seem to be trying to take this middle position of not invalidating my experience, while questioning why I chose that. Not sure if that is phobic or not.
Yeah, outside of this instance and maybe beehaw most of the threadiverse is pretty hostile and not accepting.
Still, sorry you had that experience. We are what we say we are, no matter if we choose or come to it as nothing else feels correctly/we just know.
I found out from their moderation history, that they were highlighted as being an alt right troll, regarding past comments they posted, which fits because they were seeming a bit off from the normal Lemmy user. They were also, so far, the only person to reply to the post on that community.
lemmy.ml mod banned them from their server for ‘gatekeeping’, and removed their comments. I’m actually impressed, mainly because I got a mixed response to being aromantic on Lemmy, which I wasn’t really expecting given how LGBT friendly the Fediverse on other platforms is known for being. But this is mainly based off of two users, one on each aromantic related community. But still. 50/50 reception over all so far.
