i’m harvesting a great crop of jelly beans today
it’s my birthday this week and you have to post a lot okay? :^)
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At some point i just couldn’t bear boymoding any longer, it was a fucking nightmare. I honestly don’t get how people who live in a just averagely transphobic area can stay closeted once they’ve cracked for real. Like, on an abstract level, i get it, i get when people want to at least get rid of the 5 o’ clock shadown first n stuff, avoiding the hypervisibility and all that, i’m also absolutely not judging anybody, but i honestly do not understand on an emotional level how so many transfems can stand letting literally everybody misgender them every single day. At some point that made me just snap, i had to come out because i was tired of screaming internally.
I mean it absolutely turned me into a recluse.
Like you said tho, I kind of wanted to have things sorted first with hormones and presentation, etc.
To me the idea of saying “hello, world. I’m a woman” when your presentation is still very male caused/causes me a lot of psychic damage and dsyohoria.