This is a photo on my (f28)Instagram. My brother in law (m42) reacted to it in DM, and said the above. I feel I replied normally, but now my sister (f39) apparently saw the message and is saying that I engaged in hot discussions with her man! I am myself married and I feel so bad now. I told my husband who said I did nothing wrong. Any idea how I could approach my sister ?
It’s not like he had some sort of master plan with this. He just found it exciting to be creeping off to instagram pictures of his wife’s sister, and figured he could take it to the next level by contacting you about it. The fact that it’s a fundamentally bad idea is part of what makes it exciting to him.
But it’s a basic photo… I mean it’s not like my titties were out ! Or that I was in a bikini !
It’s a normal photo of you looking normal in a normal dress. It’s not that he couldn’t find juicier things on the internet, he just finds random pictures of you to be exciting because he knows it’s wrong. Combine that with an apparent lack of impulse control and you got yourself a nice little red flag.
There’s no point in looking for something you did “wrong” here. It’s not about the photo, and it’s not about your response. It’s about him, and nothing else.
There’s no picture you could have posted on Instagram which would have made this somehow your fault. Women post bikini pictures in social media all the time without it being an open invitation for harassment.