This is a photo on my (f28)Instagram. My brother in law (m42) reacted to it in DM, and said the above. I feel I replied normally, but now my sister (f39) apparently saw the message and is saying that I engaged in hot discussions with her man! I am myself married and I feel so bad now. I told my husband who said I did nothing wrong. Any idea how I could approach my sister ?
Yeah, that would be the better thing to do, but women tend to have been trained to try to salvage men’s fragile emotions in situations like this.Especially when similar things happen in real life it’s all about trying to escape without making the man upset/escalating the situation, and a text message from someone you know can feel similar.
I don’t think it’s a good thing to try to maintain civility, but I think it’s the natural and understandable reaction from anyone who is not prepared for this kind of situation.
I think it’s a common pattern that men do unacceptable things and that women are left questioning their own behaviour afterwards. On a societal level I think it contributes to a shortage of accountability for men.