Subject: Unauthorized Sunbeam Occupation

This morning, Keeper O. claimed the Sacred Sunbeam Throne in the kitchen for the fourth time this week. When confronted about prior reservations made by Keeper E., he blinked slowly, turned around, and presented his royal backside , a gesture of absolute indifference, historically recognized in Feline Law as “Finders Keepers, Losers Meow.”

An internal dispute followed, involving dramatic stares, passive-aggressive tail flicks, and one loud, unnecessary jump onto the counter.

Resolution status: Pending. Snacks requested: Always. Work accomplished by the human: Minimal. We approve.

🖋️ End of dispatch. More mysteries shall unfold.