It seems like, that the longer I am aware of me being trans I keep unlocking new forms of Dysphoria. I never really had any problems with my deadname, but now it does hurt a little bit when hearing it from other people, because im not officially out to them. Today I also realised that apparently I know hate seeing hairs on my arms, which was never a problem before. Hearing my voice also gets progressively worse. What the fuck is this? Why cant I not feel shittier as time goes on. I am on my way to transition, my body could decide to not make my life shit in the process.
I’m in the exact same boat right now! My wife got me out of the apartment in women’s clothes for the first time a couple days ago, and when we bumped into someone she was in school with, she introduced me as her spouse and we had talked about using the word wife, and i thought I’d be fine with it, but I was shocked by how much it stung! Dysphoria is weird, and I keep saying meat was not meant to think lol