Eh, most people I met in school I just didn’t talk to unless I ended up meeting them somewhere else so didn’t really build up relationships there. Others are DnD groups, friends of friends, people I met gaming etc. Not to say buds were not planted in school, but I generally mostly spoke to my friends outside of school and they knew I was socially checked out most the time in school. Several of my friends are people I met in school but didn’t start talking to much until I essentially cold-called them on a social or messaging app outside of school. Some of it is also just I have a decent amount of hobbies that are pro-socialization: I study a language and studied abroad for a bit, most people willing to do that are really social and even if you aren’t interacting with people in classes you’ll probably run into someone willing to drag you to do something if you just exist in common areas. For when I’m at home, as mentioned I play DnD, I play magic occasionally too and you can just ask people to join them if you have an LGS nearby and you’ll usually be able to. I used to play basketball (sucked dick) and do martial arts (sucked dick at striking, grappling was pretty average) those two didn’t lead to friends but was helped with bonding and conversation comprehension when they were being discussed.
I will note though while I can be a bit awkward due missing some social cues I have for most purposes very little social anxiety which helps a lot. I’m also willing to dedicate a nearly unreasonable amount of resources for friendships I have that I find enjoyable (during periods where I am not socially-burnt out) which has created long-term friendships from fairly tenuous connections. I am fairly open and inquisitive as well, and have openly been told by more reflective friends that they’re surprised they found it enjoyable as on paper it would be somewhat off-putting but its worked for deepening bonds in my case (this I would not recommend though, I have seen other people crash and burn doing the same, just being forthright as I have had friends point to it being part of what they found appealing about me which helped the relationship survive a bit of disrepair or was a spark in the first place).
I found a combination of pro-social hobbies and ironically a bit of intentional lean-in for social deficiencies I previously struggled with that are likely caused by neurodiversity lead to thinks mostly working out. The latter I do want to reiterate I kinda lack the understanding as to why it works besides it coming off a bit absurd and probably entertaining cuz of it but I don’t particularly mind that as a lot of my personality is me trying to amuse myself as well.
Eh, most people I met in school I just didn’t talk to unless I ended up meeting them somewhere else so didn’t really build up relationships there. Others are DnD groups, friends of friends, people I met gaming etc. Not to say buds were not planted in school, but I generally mostly spoke to my friends outside of school and they knew I was socially checked out most the time in school. Several of my friends are people I met in school but didn’t start talking to much until I essentially cold-called them on a social or messaging app outside of school. Some of it is also just I have a decent amount of hobbies that are pro-socialization: I study a language and studied abroad for a bit, most people willing to do that are really social and even if you aren’t interacting with people in classes you’ll probably run into someone willing to drag you to do something if you just exist in common areas. For when I’m at home, as mentioned I play DnD, I play magic occasionally too and you can just ask people to join them if you have an LGS nearby and you’ll usually be able to. I used to play basketball (sucked dick) and do martial arts (sucked dick at striking, grappling was pretty average) those two didn’t lead to friends but was helped with bonding and conversation comprehension when they were being discussed.
I will note though while I can be a bit awkward due missing some social cues I have for most purposes very little social anxiety which helps a lot. I’m also willing to dedicate a nearly unreasonable amount of resources for friendships I have that I find enjoyable (during periods where I am not socially-burnt out) which has created long-term friendships from fairly tenuous connections. I am fairly open and inquisitive as well, and have openly been told by more reflective friends that they’re surprised they found it enjoyable as on paper it would be somewhat off-putting but its worked for deepening bonds in my case (this I would not recommend though, I have seen other people crash and burn doing the same, just being forthright as I have had friends point to it being part of what they found appealing about me which helped the relationship survive a bit of disrepair or was a spark in the first place).
I found a combination of pro-social hobbies and ironically a bit of intentional lean-in for social deficiencies I previously struggled with that are likely caused by neurodiversity lead to thinks mostly working out. The latter I do want to reiterate I kinda lack the understanding as to why it works besides it coming off a bit absurd and probably entertaining cuz of it but I don’t particularly mind that as a lot of my personality is me trying to amuse myself as well.