The world seems to be shrouded in evil. I feel helpless and desperate in my own life. I crave small acts of kindness.

But it feels like the vast majority of humans are either evil, or passive/complicit. I wonder if Calvin was right, if we all fundamentally depraved and evil.

My president is a rapist. Children are being deported. People are being sent to a death camp.

I know there were protests. But is anything changing? Even if a miracle happened - I have to live with the fact that people supported this man.

I’m trans and live in a place where most people voted for this. They want trans people dead. They want immigrants dead. The friendly old lady at the 7-11 cheers when she reads that a democratic lawmaker was shot; the church pastor is in a Facebook group where they talk about how much he would like to shoot trans women.

I stay alive to fight. I get bursts of dopamine from sex and alcohol, which gets me through most days - the promise of release at the end. I did have weed, but my license expired and I probably can’t get a new one until a few months.

I wanted children and a family and a house. I wanted a career in a field I loved.

I sleep on a pile of patched blankets and pillows I make with thrifted stuffing. I own two chairs. I’ve worked really hard all of my life - I worked multiple jobs to get through college, I work multiple jobs now. I don’t have insurance and I’m going to have to skip seeing my shrink until school is in session again and I can make a little more.

I’m drowning in despair. I’ve been drowning in despair. Where is there hope in the world?

  • cyborganism@piefed.caEnglish
    14·
    1 day ago

    When the system enables a culture of self-serving sociopaths, kindness is counter-culture. In a capitalistic system where sociopaths are rewarded, kindness is an act of rebellion.

    Here are signs of sociopathy:

    • Strong disregard for social norms, laws or rules at home, at work, in school and other public places
    • Violating the rights of others
    • Minimizing others’ feelings and how they affect other people
    • Chronic manipulation, gaslighting, denial and deceit
    • Difficulty forming healthy relationships
    • Callousness and lack of remorse
    • Acting impulsively without concern for consequences
    • Attempting to gain power and control through aggression
    • A tendency toward petty crime, physical violence or fighting
    • Substance misuse

    (Source)

    These are characteristics that I’ve identified, in part or in full, in capitalists and conservatives who support that system.

    Kindness is punk. Being kind is anti-establishment. When the establishment are just a bunch of vile, evil, self-serving assholes, being kind is the best way to rebel. Through kindness we build community. Through community, we build strength. And with strength we will defeat the that evil.

    Rebel! Be punk! Be kind!

    Personally, doing random acts of kindness every day is how I can still feel human.