This is the absolute worst season on planet earth. Fuck summer and everything about it.

It’s so uncomfortably hot and it is midnight here. This is fucking apeshit. I’m tired and can’t even fall asleep because I’m hot. The air conditioner is taking forever to cool my room down.

And to top off the heat are the bugs. I hate every last one of these motherfucking bugs that feel comfortable enough to come out during these unholy nights.

As if the heat wasn’t bad enough, I had a centipede directly above the pillow I sleep on, on the ceiling. Fantastic. And then a spider came right after it, creeping all over the ceiling. Last year, I had an earwig fall onto my pillow right in front of my face as I tried to sleep.

And the ants come out too. Leave a tiny morsel out and those leeching assholes come and won’t leave for months. I don’t eat at my desk ever but I still have ants crawling on it every so often trying to see if any food is there they can steal.

And what can you do about the heat? Nothing. Even getting butt naked doesn’t do anything for you. Waking up in a pool of your own sweat is one of the most awful experiences ever. Showers are wonderful but not if you exit the shower and immediate sweat all over your once clean body. Now you’re sweaty and sticky all over again. My balls are sticking to my thighs and it is the absolute worst feeling. I try to adjust it but then I get people looking at me strange. Yeah, my fucking balls are killing me over here. You try having a pair of nuts hanging off of you and sometimes sticking to one side and try not adjusting it.

My electric company makes it worse because coincidentally when it is hottest, between 4 PM and 9 PM is when they get to double my rates for “peak hours”. The rates are already highest in the country as it is, but they go double during the times when my house is actually getting the hottest. Having a $300+ electric bill is normal here. And who gets cheaper rates? Why those who are rich enough to buy multi-million dollar mansions near the beach where the weather is a nice 70° F all year long and they have no need for air conditioning. Of course they need the cheaper rates…

I fucking hate this season. I hate living here. I’m so glad when it starts cooling down. Yes, please come 40° F in the late winter. At least then I can do something about it. I can wrap up in a warm blanket, I can grab a sweater or wear a hoodie or double up on clothing, I can make a fire…I can do a lot. But this heat is just miserable and nothing helps. Fuck summer.