I have never been able to set goals. Mostly because I’m working on 100 projects at once. But also because a goal could get changed by something outside of your control.
If I do try making goals, they usually just end up being “make more money so I can put it toward project #67 to maybe get closer to done”. I’ve kind of had the goal of “learn to program” my whole life but never can get past chapter 2 of any class I take. I’ve kind of started a visual basic training but even once im done with that its not like i can go off and make a program that is useful. And game design requires such an insane e time commitment id have to stop all my other projects to even think about that route.
I guess a big part is I dont see a point in goals either. Everything is always dynamic so even if you reach a goal it may not even matter by the time you finish it.
My day job is mildly challenging but mostly easy. We have to set 4 goals a year but I usually just make them something im already doing (update how tos for certain tasks, take a business seminar class, etc).
And im only mildly adhd (so they say. I feel like its way worse, I just hide it very well).
Struggling with goals is an extremely common problem for many humans, but ADHD makes it even more of a struggle.
This is what my ADHD wife says. Most ADHD struggles are normal human traits dialed up to 11+.
Couldn’t you make it go to 10 and just make 10 more of a struggle
Sure that’s valid!
Yea it’s one of the frustrating things about ADHD, everyone thinks they have it because everyone can relate to it but not to the severity of it.
I can relate. I pretty much only set short term goals. I don’t think there’s really anything wrong with not having long term goals. It is frustrating to feel as though I don’t really have the option to though.
As far as the learning to program thing, I’ve had the same goal before and I only ever made progress on it when I was medicated. If you’re not already, it’s an option to consider.
I’ve discovered that I have to go into something with a purpose in order to learn it. Taking a coding class might help in the beginning with breaking the ice, but most learning I’ve gained had come from “I need to make a script for this specific thing” and then starting that process.
My most recent coding adventure was while playing From The Depths and I needed to figure out how to write a lua script so my jet could have thrust vectoring.
Same. I cannot do useless tasks.
I heard thats also an autism thing though, having to know absolutely everything about a process before doing it.
I hadn’t considered it that way, but it’s probably the same for me. The vast majority of my coding knowledge and experience comes from modding and writing web extensions.
@Dettweiler42 100%. I’ve taken up knitting purely for the purpose of knitting warm clothes for this winter for both my kids. It’s been a week and a bit and I’ve already made a scarf for one of them which is a win.
If it’s just an open-ended “I’m going to learn this for the sake of fun/improvement” I struggle to maintain momentum past the first few weeks.
“Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”
Fuck I don’t know, if I’m still alive then hopefully with food on the table and shelter? I could be in a different country or career or anything in 5 whole years, or doing exactly the same thing.
Some people really are more “goal focused” and more power to them but it’s frustrating getting looked at funny for accepting that life is unpredictable and framing accordingly.
I hate this question as well ha. I think its meant for the super-business-line-go-up types.
It can be challenging and the pattern of making goals and not hitting them can be frustrating enough that you just stop trying to make goals. These are some things I find help me get stuff done.
Social pressure keeps me focused very well, so I go to gym classes. Anytime I work out alone it is a struggle to not just bail early. So I will try to integrate social pressure into things that I find important.
Setting standards instead of goals. One example was me wanting to better understand TCP/IP networking. So I set a standard of reading the textbook I had on the topic 30 minutes a day. Some days I did less some days I only read a couple pages due to poor focus. But I just stayed focused on meeting the standard every day. I ended up reading through more than half of a very thick textbook with dense technical information. Way further than I would have otherwise.
Next is to set a priority queue. It’s hard to focus on 10 projects. It is much easier to focus on a single top priority and not worry about the other 9 at all.
Last is be realistic about your limitations. It is easy to set your expectations based on your best days and beat yourself up on your crap days. Also I find my “Best days” are frequently me hyper focusing so hard I have 2 crap days after to recover. Some times it’s not about what you “should do” and more about what you “can do”.
Everything about ADHD is also something that most people without ADHD experience. The difference with ADHD is the severity and impact it has
