We have, just because there are some relevant things happening internally wrt anger/frustration being walled off in the distance and being ‘held’ by two who are completely separate from us.

That and the recurrent flashbacks have us feeling like the only way we can make any progress is probably to talk through the things that hurt in a way that makes the distant internals be very loud and wrathful. We’re new-ish (complicated, because not really, but actually yes kind of really) to consciously navigating system stuff, so having an external sounding-board to help figure out what our brain is doing is helpful.

It does make finding a therapist really fucking difficult. And it makes the onboarding with new ones incredibly nerve wracking. Who wants to show up to an appointment and be like ‘… hey, hi. So I’m one of those like… people.’? It sucks. It really does. We’ve lost three therapists now, two of them because we finally started talking about system things and they noped out, and I’m not gonna lie- it hurts. We just want assistance in figuring this shit out.

Add in the complication of most of the therapists being singlets themselves and thus not understanding what it’s like to try and reach a consensus internally on what do to and how to do it, and you end up spending so much time hesitant to even bring up the actual ‘stuff’ lest it be the proverbial final straw that runs another person off. Sigh.

We do, because different traumas are held by specific alters in our system. Each of us also just needs different sorts of care, so pretending to be a single person would only hinder our healing process. Thankfully our therapist is great and is familiar with DID, and also doesn’t pressure us to integrate (since we are much happier living harmonically as our individual selves instead).

I can understand why someone would keep it private even with their therapist if they have a less experienced, or old-fashioned therapist, or if someone’s plurality doesn’t change their treatment. I didn’t even realize that it’s a divisive topic, it seems like a very personal decision that is best left up to the individual.

Edit to add: I also recognize that a system that originates from anything other than early childhood trauma may want to avoid sharing with a therapist just because gatekeeping and distrust is rampant among mental health professionals, from what I understand. I feel for those who have to fear being labeled as malingering just for sharing their honest experience. It’s one of many ways that the current mental health institutions are failing people.