Had one of my closest friends of near enough a decade tell me that they were cutting me and some of their other friends out of their life… With a nearly identical facebook message to all of us.

Yes. After 5± years I was immediately dropped for a new friend who happened to share the same birthday, just different year. It was never the same after that. We haven’t even talked in 10 years. It still hurts.

Yeah, when my ex and my then best friend left me after him staying with us for the weeks around Christmas.

Yeah. Literally every friend I’ve known. I’m pretty bad at keeping in touch with people.

So weird. I just ran into an old friend I hadn’t spoken to in a couple of years. She does this thing where if people stop speaking to her for a period of time she gets all shitty with them and ignores them (which is different somehow, and not doing exactly the same thing she’s condemning them for) she makes them jump through hoops to prove they’re worthy of her time again, if they message her again later. (Without speaking to them about how she’s feeling.) She spoke to me about doing this to one of her friends. Randomly, my life went to hell, I didn’t keep up with regular messaging, (neither did she) I tried to reach out and apologise, and explain that depression has hit me hard and I’m struggling to be able to message people, plus I think I’m adhd, and entirely time blind. She briefly acknowledged my message, I tried to message more, but I was so overwhelmed by chaos my life had become, and depression contact dropped again. I could see in all her answers she wasn’t enthusiastic to speak to me, and it felt like she was tolerating me, rather than engaging, and she was fobbing me off with “busy, just running out the door” but then not getting back to me later. So I took the hint, she didn’t seem to want me in her life any more. It was really hurtful.

Then I run into her, and she spots me, I would have walked right past, she pulls me over and wide eyes says hey how are you. Light catch up ensues, she mentions she has a new job now and I said I didn’t realise she was working, and she goes “oh wow,” and rolls her eyes, at me, and acts like it’s a big thing I’m not caught up on her life, with a side tone of wow, you let the ball drop, didn’t you. Just fuck. I’m debating sending her a message telling her what’s what, because she abandoned me at a time when I was (and still am) really struggling. And that as much as if she’s angry at me for not keeping up communication, she didn’t either.

I don’t understand the disconnect in thinking that the world (or your world of friends) needs to revolve around you and if they don’t keep up with your doings, it’s not that they need care, or consideration, or they might have things going on that means they can’t give you as much attention. And there’s no reciprocal attention, the world just revolves around her.

I’m so mad! But also, she’s anti Vax and God only knows what else, so meh.

Yep and they ghosted me for no reasons…

Yeah but they kinda suck now anyway so I am kinda glad we drifted apart

Sometimes the boys that should be your best friends become strangers with familiar faces

Yeah, and it is a shame really. We turned out to have an uh…HUGE ideological difference, and it was impossible to communicate at that point at all. He caught the Sigma virus, and expected me to act in an impossibly stupid way, ignore health, do things that are not in my skill set in the first place, and believe things that I’m simply ideologically opposed to.

Fuckin’ oof, man.