So, I posted about not wanting to shave despite my family and the guy I like wanting me to. Someone on another social media platform (I know Lemmy isn’t like other social medias sometimes) said that it was because the guy I like was transphobic and saw me as a girl. Is his behavior transphobic for wanting me to shave my private areas and legs? I think it’s just a preference…
Does it mean that the guy in question sees you as a girl? Who knows. But it’s an indication that he wants you to be feminine. It’s up to you whether you’re ok with that.
I am feminine, I just don’t like that. I am, however, fine with women’s clothes/femboy clothes tho I switch between masc and fem.
No one can tell you whether he perceives you as a guy or not. That’s something only he knows for sure, and something that you are best placed to determine for yourself.
And if he perceives you as a guy, but likes you to be feminine, and you’re ok with that, then there is no problem. If he perceives you as a guy, and likes you to be feminine, and you’d prefer not to be, then that’s going to be an issue for you and for him at some point.
And if he doesn’t perceive you as a guy, you need to decide whether or not you give him time to come around, because if he sees a girl, it’s never going to feel good for you as long as he continues to do so.
Thank you 🙏
Idk, I’m attracted to men and I just don’t like body hair on anyone. It’s a personal preference, like they said
Sure. But there is also a long history of trans folk having their gender not be seen by their partners, even whilst their partner claims otherwise. The cis partner wanting their trans partner to embrace elements of gender presentation associated with the trans persons assigned gender can be a sign of that.
It might not mean that, but it’s also not automatically a personal preference, just because the partner claims it is.
It’s something that you or I or any other outsider can’t know. Which is why “It’s just personal preference” is just as wrong as “It’s transphobia”. It could be either of those things, but the only people who can ever know for sure are the people in the relationship.
I think it’s transphobic since he thinks of you as a girl but I also don’t think anybody should be telling you to shave if you don’t want to.
