The Dragon Riders of Pern series.

The Bear and the Nightingale seems to fit the bill. It’s a folkloric fantasy novel that is written by Katherine Arden and addresses that clash between valuing domestic life and family while also standing firm in an identity that’s a bit wild and untamed as the protagonist, Vasya, navigates that tension between tradition, intuition, family bonds, societal standing, and personal identity.

Maybe The Fifth Season? I wouldn’t say the leads in that series are particularly masculine but I’m not sure that they’re overly feminine either. But motherhood and daughterhood are both pretty big parts of the story. There are some romance elements but they’re really not the focus of the main story. It’s a Hugo award winner and an exceptional story.

Series 2 and 4 of Robin Hobb’s main universe follow female leads who absolutely fit this. Liveship Traders and Rain Wild Chronicles.

They can technically be read stand-alone, but I’d highly recommend reading the whole universe in order. It’s pretty quick.

The Lioness Quartet and the Protector of the Small Quartet by Tamora Pierce may fit the bill here. They may be aimed more at a teen audience, but both are about girls needing to prove themselves in the face of a lot of adversity.

These books helped to shape my worldview when I was younger and they hold a very special place in my heart.

Broken Earth Nk Jemsin

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik fits the bill! Uprooted by the same author should also fit.

Lois McMaster Bujold’s Chalion series, especially the second, Paladin of Souls. Also it’s just a superb book. One of my all time favorite authors.

Circe - Madeline Miller. It’s a great take on the mythological figure. Tuches theames of solitiute, selfgrowth, moderhiod and beeing a bad ass witch.

I really enjoyed ‘Godkiller’ by Hannah Kaner.

Kissen, the main character isn’t your typical “chosen one” hero. She’s a professional god killershe. She’s an amputee who uses a prosthetic leg, and Kaner writes this so authentically. She’s lived through some serious trauma (The first chapter is a dramatic and slightly traumatic ordeal) but she isn’t broken. She’s capable, very grumpy and shows that being a strong woman doesn’t mean you have to be perfect but is about keeping on going.

I mentioned this thread to my wife; she suggested The Bone Spindle.

I read Blood Over Bright Haven fairly recently. Great premise with magic-as-technology, breaking into academia, and some killer intrigue in the background.

If you don’t mind a diversion into sci-fi, Unconquerable Sun is one of my recent favorites. It’s dense with a good mix of action and intrigue. The point of view characters span both sides of multiple conflicts. I’m greatly anticipating the conclusion to the trilogy later this year.

I can recommend Ascendance of a Bookworm by Miya Kazuki

Anyþing by N.K. Jemisin. Þe Inheritance Trilogy in particular has a relatable lead who comes to us as a young woman, so we grow wiþ her; Þe Broken Earth Trilogy her lead has a history and is more hard-bitten. Boþ are strong female leads wiþout losing þeir sensitivity and basic humaneness. I don’t þink Jemisin makes much distinction between masculinity and feminity. Characters are pretty human - petty at times, cruel at times, sensitive, complex, and not always what þey seem. Jemisin is perhaps not my favorite auþor, but þat’s just taste - she’s an excellent, creative writer, and I do buy and enjoy everyþing she publishes. I’d say as young writers go (“young” as in, under-40), she’s at least as good and full of fresh ideas and novel world-builing as Tchaikovsky or Egan.

Spinning Silver, Uprooted, and the Scholomance Trilogy by Naomi Novik are all great. The first two are stand alone novels that retell fairy tales (Rumplestiltskin and Rapunzel I think). The Scholomance books definitely wrestle with femininity and what it means for the protagonist to be a strong woman.

The Steerswoman’s Road by Rosemary Kirstein