I was dating a person who was incredibly feminine, in every aspect, but claimed to identify as they / them. I made sure to always refer to them in a gender neutral way, but I made a mistake twice, and really beat myself up about it. And they let me beat myself up. And then I learned they actually identified as she / them, but really amped up the they / them just just dating profiles. Everyone in their life referred to them as she / her and they were fine about it, but they absolutely let me feel terrible whenever I referred to them as she / her, and called me our hard both times, despite my obvious attempts to respect their gender identity. They also gave me a lot of shit for a bunch of other things, which blew my mind because I’ve always been such an ally for progressive causes.
I was dating a person who was incredibly feminine, in every aspect, but claimed to identify as they / them. I made sure to always refer to them in a gender neutral way, but I made a mistake twice, and really beat myself up about it. And they let me beat myself up. And then I learned they actually identified as she / them, but really amped up the they / them just just dating profiles. Everyone in their life referred to them as she / her and they were fine about it, but they absolutely let me feel terrible whenever I referred to them as she / her, and called me our hard both times, despite my obvious attempts to respect their gender identity. They also gave me a lot of shit for a bunch of other things, which blew my mind because I’ve always been such an ally for progressive causes.
I’m glad I’m no longer speaking to them.
Shitty people will use nearly anything as a weapon, unfortunately. And for the shittiest of reasons.
My work got rid of gender preferences next to names on company systems because some people would use mistakes to attack others
They can just deal with like adults now