Ultimately, you have to follow some of the advice from Mao’s Little Red Book. You should publicly criticize this tendency during meetings if it is your opinion, and bring it up when it is relevant. Do this until they either kick you out, change their minds, or decide to leave to pursue better options.

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t also pursue rigorous political education within the party, but an expectation of correct political knowledge outside of the party or even full agreement without internal debate is a nonsensical, idealist position.

What is your current political orientation, would you say? How would you identify yourself? Lots of useful discussion in here about big ideas, but I’d like to do the practical work of helping you find the right group to join.

The refusal to collaborate with other groups is at best a deeply unserious tendency and at worst red flag of a manipulative and controlling group. My most important piece of advice is to weigh what a group actually does and how it operates more heavily than what they say they believe (though the later is still important) when deciding how to interface with said group. Navigating this stuff is really tricky and the best path forward is seldom obvious or easy

I’d rather be in an org I don’t fully agree with that does good praxis and is willing to coordinate with other orgs, than one that aligns with my beliefs but does neither of those things.

In two different occasions, that meant working more with a DSA chapter, Pro-Palestine group, or a broad anti-war group, than the nominally Marxist orgs in the area (trots so I guess theoretical alignment with me was tenuous lol).

Of course if you can find an org that better aligns with your principles, by all means join it.

Speaking out internally is a respectable option but in particularly toxic orgs may not be worth the risk. If you leave, ideally try to leave amicably so you might be able to build bridges between this org’s members and whatever org you join after. And since, as you say, your ideology is still developing, probably best to be diplomatic, not add more noise to inter- or intra-org hostility.

“party sects” in the title, but comm rules say I have to respond seriously.

If you no longer agree with the party platform, drop it and find a better org if you cannot change it from within.

I’m also struggling with organizing and I’m just gonna be honest that I am the problem. I am not built to withstand the pressure, of what would happen, if I did what I am supposed to - openly criticize the whole group precisely where I think they’re mismanaging and then see what the response is, it’s entirely possible there’s something I am missing and my idea is bad.

That doesn’t mean I have to give up. I know I am not built to be a leader, but it doesn’t mean there is nothing I can do. I try to help in ways that i can and maybe there’s eventually going to be a group that can absorb me, the more the Imperial power dwindles, the higher the chance there is going to be a group that shows up.

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of great man theory, when you’re surrounded by Imperialist Culture. Even someone like Fidel Castro is just a human being and spent most of his life on boring, mundanely frustrating, absolutely irritating tasks.

Everybody is born with different set of cards and we shouldn’t judge people based on the number, it’s how they chose to use what they were dealt.

Instead of a socialist organisation I joined a local community organisation that organises on broader topics. I try to involve all of the relevant leftist orgs in everything I do, because I strongly believe we need all of us to work together in order to win, and that many of the orgs can learn a lot from each other. We have sectarianism here, but I try my best to instil some charity towards other orgs with the people I talk with. Some dislike between orgs is based on rumours that have a little bit of truth in them, others are just red scare propaganda. I have my personal faves but all of the local orgs here have their mayor flaws and qualities.

The ego is the enemy of progress.

There are people for whom their benevolence towards their fellow humans is contingent on them being at the center of things, or them being placated. It’s grody, but pretty normal. Most people aren’t aware of what they’re doing. The ones who are, and still do this crap, are enemies. I hope that goes without saying.

But the honest truth is that the egoic self is usually a toxic hellpit, and a person with a modicum of power and no self awareness of the workings of their own ego can have the best intentions in the world, but will be pulled along by the need to be right, to be in charge, to be acknowledged as exceptional, or somehow set apart - the maintenance of the perception those things are happening becomes more important than the ostensible reason they’ve got voice and power in a given org.

The fix is education, and I hate to say it but the kind of education necessary will probably cause socialist nostrils to flare, just because it would involve meditation and “spiritual” work that has empirically observed effects on the mind - No woo woo shit, but the inability to manage the ego is probably the biggest thing that holds orgs back.

Sorry. I’m dealing with my own right now, so the problem is perceived as brighter/louder in the external world than it usually is for me.

Behind every asshole that wasn’t an intentional wrecker, whose bullshit ended up stymieing or killed a project/org, is almost certainly an unhealed ego

If you have ego tyrants infesting an org, sometimes it’s best to just bypass them or go elsewhere. You’re not gonna be able to therapy them into healing, you just need to take their power, and if you can set your ego aside and tap the right shoulders, you can probably get on with Doing Stuff as if the tyrant isn’t there

Your issue is inaction mostly. Every group left of “its bad to hunt homeless for sport” has a inaction problem. And when they normally finally do anything its just getting people to make noise in places they can be ignored.

When I made a local group. Its entire purpose was action. And people from a wide spectrum have flocked to it.

You might consider doing something similar?

“I don’t have people skills” etc.

Neither do I honestly. I grew up completely isolated with parents who were hermits with a fox news dad. However, if your intentions are good people will show up eventually. And then you can “to each their ability” to the people persons who inevitability show up. (Bless them truly)

You don’t nor shouldn’t start to big. See a need in your area that you can work on and rally like minded people towards. Hell maybe you can get your nerds (affectionate) to get in on this and create a action section to what already exists. Can be as simple as cleaning up a river or making a meal.

Then when you get enough people you can start working on bigger and bigger projects.

China wasn’t built in a day. You gotta start somewhere. And it helps with mental health and the feeling of powerlessness even when you are doing the small stuff.

there are a lot of orgs which are not sects. based on what you are saying, it seems like you might want to find some other org to join? one that is more based in practice? it takes a while to find an org you want to be a part of, its not a taboo :)