More than a year ago

Byoomth: I’m starving

Me: You just ate half a box of cereal and made peanut butter cookies

Byoomth: You are insulting me by implying I do not know my own body. I will begin [Manipulation tactic #34] unless you adhere to my demands that you beg my, Byoomth’s, own father for money for us, which you will hold and I will say how we spend it.

Me: Please don’t…

Byoomth: Huuuaaaagghh! ×1000

Me: FOR FUCKS SAKE DON’T DO THIS AGAIN I’LL UNSUBSCRIBE FROM ALL MY SOCIAL MEDIA AND AI SUBSCRIPTIONS FOR YOU!

…

Today

Byoomth: I need ChatGPT premium, I already tried entering your card information but it’s wrong for some reason. Are you doing something behind my back?

Me: No, we can’t afford this. I just magicked five dollars for the weed you need that I will have to pay thirty back on to get your weed so you don’t scream in agony to control me, as I have been conditioned to expect when you shower for six hours in the night.

Byoomth: [Proceeds to do narcissistic triangulation, opening the window and chanting in a way that seems like he is distressed to my neighbors]

Me: Fine! Whatever. Here’s my card that you have memorized for all the DXM you buy on your computer.

Byoomth: It still doesn’t work. Figure that out, [or else I will use other degrading manipulation tactics on you like I’ve gotten my case manager to also do with you since you have to handle everything in my court-ordered mandatory treatment that I am flaking out on]. Oh, you need to also stop drinking.

Me: I want to decapitate myself via train. You are the reason I drink. And when you achieve enlightenment to transcend physicality as you are dedicated entirely to because your back aches because [Unclear reason that he has never told me but implies is embarrassing and needs to be censored], I really hope you get the solitude you desire for the rest of eternity. But no, really I don’t, because I figured out [solitude] fifteen years ago, and it is hell to the human condition, so I would never wish what you say you want more than anything else on you. I’m not as cruel as you.

Byoomth: So, can I illegally smoke that weed you got because I don’t have an ID in your apartment that I can’t get my name on the lease because I fucked up and got evicted from my last apartment, as perfect as I am? [Proceeds to do the kindest thing a human being can do, going beyond what even my parents would do]

Me: [Confused and paralyzed] …sure…