I admit I’ve always been a social and friendly person. My spouse and I have traveled and I almost always during the trip end up befriending someone and getting a way to stay in contact, with many I even end up visiting in subsequent trips that pass through the same area.
But for friends from before my 30s and even before my 20s? That is different. Most of my closest friends we’ve scattered across the planet in our travels and lifestyles, so it is less in person there. Writing letters, sending messages, gifts, postcards, the like is how we do it.
My biggest suggestion is to find a hobby and use that to build a bridge.
Join a club. Sailing club, rock climbing club, biking club. You’ll make friends real quick.
And if you don’t want to leave your house a ton, find online hobbies that let you find and meet people, like card games, board games, roleplaying games, etc.
Granted I had my board gaming friends but when COVID hit and we couldn’t play, I made a D&D campaign for them.
We had never played that together before but everyone was in, and one of the players had never played but had read a ton of novels (Dragonlance, Frizzy [Drizzt!], etc) and was fully committed.
Now we have all taken turns as the DM, and two of us usually swap out for our own stories.
Yeah, I do that after my full-time job and keeping myself fed and my apartment clean.
Oh wait, clubs cost money and I don’t have any left.
Some clubs cost money. Most do not. You can literally go to your local library for a book club which costs nothing. You can join a walking club, a running club, a bird watching club, the list is endless.
Good job ignoring the first part of my comment
I ignored the first part of your comment because if you don’t have time to do anything then making friends isn’t the problem. You wouldn’t have time to hang out with them anyway.
nap club. nap club is for you
Yeah…I’m just so tired all the time lol. I met a friend online who lives like 3 hours from me. Turns out it’s hard to even meet halfway a lot of the times because we are so tired.
I really just need everything to be more low effort in terms of socialization lol
Have you tried becoming radicalised? There are so many options right now.
I was gonna say, walk into a punk concert bam you have 30+ new friends
That does sound much healthier.
Is them punching me required?
Not required no but admittedly joining a mosh does accelerate bonding
Take what friends you have and care for each other so you’re all less tired. One person can meal prep while the others shop for groceries. Anyone left can search for cheaper insurance, find new friends to add to the group, or rage against this crippling wealth disparity.
I seem to just catch friends as easily as I catch bans. This includes 30 and over people.
It’s probably the ADHD.
This is one of the biggest problems we have. There is no community and by extension no solidarity. All of us need to push out the comfort zone and put ourselves out there. Volunteer, go to community events, the library, just go out and talk to people. The introvert in me is screaming no, but it has to be done.
I was able to make friends in my 30s. Usually, though, their names ended “RN” and “MD”.
Hang with people at your house? Or theirs. Or a random restaurant. Or
Not with expectations. Just be there to relax, together. Proximity and comfort breed the start of friendship.
Food helps too
Gigs. Take some friends. Talk about them at work, invite people.
Try moving to another country where you don’t speak the language. That really makes you comfortable with solitude.
Have kids. You’ll meet a bunch of parents to commiserate with.
