alcoholic idiot nightmare gamer winemaker
good meeting on step 2, came to believe power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity… I changed that last word to sobriety cause I felt like the sanity ship sank, but with the spirit healed the mind and body followed. in 31 days I’ve thought about drinking twice. completely new perspective.
like permanent marker ink
changed my name on zoom from davie30days to davie1month, 2month etc actually jumped in a meeting today, been avoiding. saved $2k. straight to lawyers.
hasn’t crossed my mind. starting to think the obsession being lifted is permanent? as long as I keep doing what I’m doing, took time off from everything just needed a break. making amends is rough.
28 shortest month. here I am always looking for the easier softer way
26, my one month is the same as my court date… fml nah ive got an entirely new life thx to AA, I graduated from dry drunk to sober alcoholic. never understood those terms til now, gotta experience it for myself nobody can tell me, they tried bless em
holy smokes that’s rad. gz that’s a healthy amount of time, I wanna be like you when I grow up
25, my first ever 1 month coin is just around the corner. going to keep collecting them. yeah they’re common as catshit but infinite value to me.
yep. I think he’s mad I’ve found a shortcut to spiritual sanity, can’t accept my idea of Gaia, mother nature, as a hp. so I just laid out my experience with the church, I like the love thy neighbour stuff, but that msg never got to my pew, it was all fire and brimstone, hated sundays, god and the adults who lied to me, never felt love in there. to me that was devil worship. why do they always look down when they pray I look up. I do not know buddy, it’s my first day on earth everything’s all new and exciting. with my spirit healed the mind and body followed, until today my ego came in hot. so 3 and 7 prayers, sick man’s prayer, I’ll be ok just had a resentment I couldn’t shake. we can’t afford resentments
good meeting on step 1, was supposed to be 10, couple newcomers so back to basics. I remember being stuck at step 1 for over 6 years, torture, dry drunk, refused to come to believe in a power greater than myself, now I’m drowning in a new love I’ve never felt, my mental health issues have damn near vanished and my buddy a christian tells me I’m engaging in devil worship. ffs, can’t afford a resentment. but if I said that to him he’d never talk to me again. he said, you won’t change my mind and I won’t change yours, so best we can do is pray for each other, my brother I would never try change yours. I trust the path you’re on is right for you.
I love the many paths up the mtn, I had/remembered my spiritual experience while looking at the mountain from work having a smoke, small epiphany. then that week in a meeting, indigenous fella says yeah gunneboolah is a very spiritual place, and you don’t have to be a black fella to feel it, I was like fkn not wrong brother told him about it. but yeah being on step 9 and doing 10 11 12 everyday feels like I’ve climbed so much mountain, just a bit further, and I wish all my buddies still at sea level could see the view from up here, 30 years I was stuck down there. last thing I wanna do is rub it in their faces I know how much that used to piss me off but I get it now
yes I ironically had a vision of her via hallucinogens, she showed me I’m part of a bigger living breathing system, so I had a solid concept of god before AA but didn’t believe it like I do now, I’ve got direct results from 6 and 7 she removed my defects, that gave me faith, I get the same benefits from prayer as he does but that’s ok, she removed the alcohol problem and that’s really all I wanted. I stopped going to NA cause I’m not powerless over drugs and they don’t make my life unmanageable. didn’t like lying to everyone and myself that I wanna quit. it’s been 7 years since I last did anything stronger than weed but I’m open to it. I’d get booted for sharing most of these views so I just go to focus on alcoholism, the most destructive by far
sent out my first attempt at an ammend, just asking permission explaining what I’m doing, feel free to not even reply, hope youre well etc. 1 down, 99 to go. 23 days woot. my christian buddy who I used to see as my spiritual advisor my man of the cloth, came in hot today saying shit like I’m following the devil, I’m on the wrong path, bro I’m getting the same results as you im just praying to Gaia mother nature. god is like a fingerprint, they’re unique to you
step 9! there’s one I really dont wanna make amends to, but my spiritual sanity kinda requires it. I have to right every wrong if possible, without causing injury cause that would directly impact my spiritual sanity. dangerous game to play. but great meeting, talked to others after, really feeling the unity. cannot put the guitar down, I’ve improved so much over the last couple days. love yas have a lovely day
i think a unicycle is more your style
mass effect 3 multiplayer. absolutely loved being a krogan vanguard or a geth prime w siege pulse.
it still connects… sometimes. i usually try once a day. fucking ea.
i wish they dated their comics cause man this ones old
because for me, my perception was warped to insanity, and my world and future improved immeasurably when I stopped for good. life really started improving. i seriously used to think, why take away the one thing that makes me feel good, truthfully I hadn’t felt good in years, i was delusional. wasn’t possible to see from the hole I’d dug. it’s a disease, maybe not in the conventional sense but it is progressive and it will kill me. it talks to me and tells me I don’t have it. cancer does not talk to you.