Dunno if age appropriate but I like to give knives when possible.

These are the most absurdly competent $10 tool you can buy if you can stomach the source (wally world):

I have a drawer-full and they make a great (cheap) “I was thinking of you” token.

A night of listening to me snore causes folks to be charmingly receptive to those conversations. Uncanny, really.

Roger. Suppose a bunkbed’s out of the question? Hammocks?

In any case, here’s to your future abundance!

Warning! Crude pun in title!

Nothing wrong with 1950s-sitcom-style double beds with a shared nightstand if you are short on space. You spend a third of your life in a bed; best to be happy there.

Not to one-up, but we went with two blankets, along with two beds and two rooms. Never looked back. Game-changer if you’ve got the space.

That sign clearly indicates “No Yorkies”. No ordinance is being broken here.

This statement is in fact Lab certified™️

“Exchange” implies that information flowed in both directions in a transactional manner. Never before heard the term used to describe “one-sided, manic, belittling, self-aggrandizing, tone-deaf tirade.” Live and learn, I guess.

A guy in a bar told me, “Son, women control 50% of the money in this county, and 100% of the pussy, so act accordingly.”

@dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world knows some shit yo

High quality post 👍

Now dammit, as a lifelong Gator apologist fan, I find this particularly accurate insensitive and unamusing

Ahhh I can almost taste the delicate tang of stale beer, vomit, urine, and disappointment that anoints The Quarter on a Sunday morn.

I too have a chicken-kicking story. Posting now so’s I’ll remember to write it out later.

It was precisely like a bad, dirty paper cut that stank of fish munge.

Haven’t seen it mentioned here, so a word to the wise: their beaks are somewhere sharp-edged, and if you were to grasp the beak and your hand were to slide lengthwise (towards or away from the tip), you could sustain a nasty cut.

Source: adolescent me harassing pelicans that were a lil too inquisitive about my days’ fishing catch on a dock somewhere near Cedar Key, FL.

This right here. I’ve known two drivers with this exact habit. Spectacularly infuriating.

Just let me out right here. I’ll walk.

Mrs. Ersatz86, native Spanish speaker with (normally) great English skills, to our daughter and I:

Wait, you guys went to the pub without me?

Me: Well, you were at yoga.

Mrs. Ersatz86: Did you at least stop at the liquor store?

Me: Sure did!

Mrs. Ersatz86: Well where’s the booze? What am I, shoplifter?

Me: … blinks…

Me: do you mean “chopped liver”?

Pandemonium.

Heh. I know a Misty Hyman, who achieved some notoriety as an athlete (swimmer).

It is difficult to say or even think of her name with a straight face.

Golly, you don’t suppose the outcome of this trade squabble could push Mexico straight into China’s loving embrace, thereby achieving exactly the opposite of the ostensible goals of the trump tariffs? All whilst driving up prices in the US? Do you??