So I could have something in common with you?

I think I can do better than that :)

You know what?

There are 2 million fewer smokers in the past 17 years (since the ban was introduced) – a trend that looks like it is going to continue, and an estimated 1500 fewer heart attacks due to smoking and second hand smoke exposure per year, along with tens of thousands of other deaths due to smoking and second hand smoke exposure per year.

Compared to the death of one fucking monkey – I am pretty happy saying it has been a success.

Also he is (or was) a monkey in an American zoo and since I live in the UK, why should I give a shit?

He nearly killed a kid. He got what was coming to him.

That does sound sweet, and nice, but as someone who attended and still attends indoor weddings with a heart condition and occasional breathing issues…

You see where I am going about not missing it at all, right?

I like how people reminisce about the time they could smoke in pubs, and in restaurants, and clubs, and so on, but as someone who has had major health conditions their entire life and avoided pubs and clubs for that reason and sometimes had to leave restaurants because of it…

Like I said – 1997 was a very, very good year.

Did you ever see the next to last episode of Good Omens…

Apparently I was today years old.

Although (in my limited defence) I am not sure I have ever actually used to that word or written that word down.

When I was a kid I was in the school band, and for one or two of our performances at Christmas we actually had to go out of our way to ask the people we were playing for not to smoke during the performances.

AND WE WERE SECONDARY SCHOOL KIDS!!! (11 - 16) I mean for the love of god we were children, and musicians at that, and still adults thought it was fine to smoke in front of us., in enclosed rooms.

Pubs were also whining a lot about how they would be on the breadline before the year was out.

Don’t know what it’s like round your way, but the pubs in my town are still pretty busy.

Nope.

This is the hill I am going to plant my flag on and die on. (a)

(a) – unless it’s too cold, then I am going to wait for summer to plant my flag. I mean – I am committed to this and all but I am not stupid enough to do it in winter. Plus we are about to get hit with Storm Eowyn over here and I’m buggered if I am staying outside during that – Winds of 100 miles an hour?? My flag would blow away!!! I’m staying inside until it’s done with then maybe I will plant my flag and die on this hill.

But yes – I will plant my flag and die on this hill once we have nice weather :)

Cool.

At least I know now :)

Still weird.

Why are they called bangs?

(Sorry – I’m from the UK and I have literally never understood why they are called bangs. This seemed like a good time to ask).

People shouldn’t make Hitler jokes. That sort of thing makes me Fuhrious.

Weird thing is 36 is hot, even though (as I said) it’s normal body temperature.

Normal temperature – comfortable outside – is usually somewhere between 15 and 22 (adjust for personal taste, obviously).

So you pay for the lessons at school?

Or you can pay for lessons at home, and get free lessons at school?

(Sorry – your comment was clear as to who does the paying).

Another funny story – aside from the fire drills, we once had to evacuate an entire wing of the school because we were testing the energy released by various things (peanuts, paraffin, methylated spirits etc) by setting them on fire and seeing how long it took them to heat up some water to 100 degrees.

It was going fine, until we tried burning 25ml of paraffin, and someone set fire to the curtains in the lab. One moment there was a small pool of paraffin, next moment FIRE RAGING ON THE CURTAINS and the fire alarm ringing throughout the building.

That was quite entertaining.

(I haven’t even told you the story about the science teacher who cracked the plexiglass screen. You know the big thick screen they put up in front of “dangerous” experiments to protect the students?

Well the chemistry teacher was doing an experiment with fire and gunpowder and I think he mismeasured the amount he put in, because there was a flame and an explosion and the screen that was supposed to absorb the explosion and protect the students… not so much – it cracked and split in two. It didn’t shatter but it wasn’t entirely useful after that and the class ended a lot earlier than we were expecting.

So – funny story.

At my mum’s school (she taught at a different school than me and my siblings went to) they had regular fire drills. (We had them at our school as well).

But at my mum’s school the fire brigade sometimes took one or two students, or a teacher, aside and kept them inside the school during the fire drill, to test whether or not registers were being taken properly.

The idea being that when the register was taken, and little Susie Jones or Mister Smith (the biology teacher) wasn’t present, the responsible member of staff would alert the fire brigade and they would go back into the building to “search for the missing person”

However one year they decided to stop doing it, because apparently one of the firemen approached a third year girl (aged 13) and asked if she wouldn’t mind going into a cupboard with him, and she KICKED HIM IN THE LEG and ran away screaming about this creepy man who was trying to get her to go into a cupboard.

She attracted quite a lot of attention – most of the staff and almost all of the students – and they eventually calmed her down and explained what was going on. She was a little embarrassed but also quite proud of kicking him so hard.

So yeah – after that they stopped taking kids aside and kept it to taking staff aside because no one else wanted to get kicked.

In the UK we didn’t even get driving lessons.

Our parents paid for us to learn to drive.

I still can’t believe American schools teach kids to drive, given their… attitude to other things. It’s just weird.

Normal body temperature is 36 degrees. Ice-cream at that temperature would be a pool of liquid :)

Ice cold – 0 degrees.

Who wants Ice at 32 degrees? That’s a ridiculous temperature to say “It’s freezing out there – it’s 32 degrees!!”

If I want someone telling me it’s cold, I want it to be sub-zero. Not sub-32.

You know I’m right.