“Yes, I should be… [notices the intense light coming from the burning kitchen] GOOD LORD, WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE!?”

“Half-life 3?”

How I feel when I get home from work and slap one on.

Garlic is typically used to cook spaghetti, so maybe?

Both correct, sorry I’m an idiot.

They have to prepare it rather than just rinse them and throw them in a pot whole.

I prefer the head on, adds more flavor. Also kind of like a crawdad it’s easier to peel with it’s head attached. Pinch, twist, pull.

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This would be great! I keep trying to get this song going at bars, but just get awkward looks.

What shall we do with a drunken sailor
Early in the morning?

(Chorus) Way hay, and up she rises
Early in the morning!

Shave his belly with a rusty razor
(Chorus)

Put him in a longboat till he’s sober
(Chorus)

Stick him in a barrel with a hosepipe on him
(Chorus)

Put him in the bed with the captain’s daughter
(Chorus)

That’s what we do with a drunken sailor
(Chorus)

Calm down Satan

This will just make the car loud, but drivable. Also guess who gets to pay for the new converter? Tax dollars.

Want to have it stall out or immobilize? Block the tailpipe with something, like a potato or slash tires.

Super quick, doesn’t require climbing under the car.

Still carries fines and most likely criminal charges in this case. But since we are talking hacking off pieces of ICE vehicles anyway.

That’s the employees sanity in the middle.

Gillian Anderson still makes anything sexy. 57 year old Gillian Anderson makes me feel tingly in my groin region.

Of course my tastes age with me.

They are evil. I take full precautions. Long pants tucked into my boots, still I find a few that migrated their way to my groin.

Nymphs are about the size of black pepper.

I had one these bad boys in my first house I bought, built in 1940’s. Replaced it, regretted it because than you have to mess with batteries (no electrical wire - just signal). Also felt like the old one was just more accurate. But you can’t program them.

Careful lot of them contain mercury. Think even more modern ones do before digital.

Is it safe for cats to drink wine?

Can confirm, I just spent 15mins driving behind a beat-up minivan with this message in full coverage vinyl lettering on their back window.

I recalled this imagine instantly. Haven’t seen that in awhile. I feel like I saw this originally in Rolling Stone? Too damn lazy to look it up.

Oh god I’m turning into dust as I type this out.