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I don’t say this to downplay your experience, but as a more positive way to look at it. Maybe you couldn’t have come to this realization without having gone through this. Maybe you didn’t waste your time, and you didn’t miss out on anything, because you were doing what seemed right at the time and now you’ve learned from it. You wouldn’t have this new clarity without having gone through the darkness.
That top hat guy is massive if that’s a regular elephant