PeeNutButtHer [she/her]
- 6 Posts
- 53 Comments
8·2 days agogod i need something to change, anything. I don’t even care if it changes to be worse, I just need something in my life to change, I’m so stagnate
woke Frostpunk be like: “we’ve got to build the Genderator”
posting thur it all to keep sane
evil and intimidating awesome lesbian horse couple
nsfw genital dysphoria
god I fucking hate having a dick. I naturally have a pretty darn high sex drive but every time getting off just feels so unsatisfying and disappointing cause I hate what I have, no matter what I do. I can’t wait for SRS, but that’s years away at the minimum and maybe never if worse case scenario. the wave of dysphoria and disgust is really getting to me, I know I’m not just going to stop masturbating for the next several years or anything like that so I’ve got to deal with the discomfort and dysphoria and never actually being satisfied. Shit suuuuuuuuuuckkkkkks
spoiler
HRT is just one part of transition and there’s a lot more to be done. I’m in a similar boat to you where I’ve been on e for almost 3 years but I haven’t really done anything else so I don’t look like a woman to myself in the mirror, but I’m hoping that I eventually will
It’s a long nebulously process that goes smoothly for some people and very rough for others, it’s just luck of the draw (and also money, it goes soooo much easier if you’ve got money)
Estrogen isn’t magic, is pretty good but not magic. And a lot of trans people do end up becoming disappointed, but that’s just something to work past. Or at least I hope, idk I’m pretty doomer about shit but I’ve been trying to turn my perspective around recently. There’s a lot of other shit to do besides just hrt. Like weight cycling, voice training, makeup, exercise, etc
Really voice is super important, it’s often the “tie-breaker” if your androgynous and someone is trying to gender you. I should take my own advice thought and voice train, it fucking sucks doing but it needs to be done
8·5 days agoIt’s one of my favorite games, I keep wanting to play the sequel but I’ve got no money to get it plus my computer is dogshit so I’d have to upgrade that first and that costs even more money
I’ve got a very close irl friend who is also trans and while I’m very happy to be friends knowing her hasn’t made me any less miserable about being trans
But then again I probably need more than just one irl trans friend (hell I need more than just one irl friend regardless or cis or trans)
aww, that’s so cute
6·5 days agodeleted by creator
spoiler
I’ve only smoked a handful of times on very rare occasions, but the times that I do I always smoke Kool
That’s true, I do say/think a lot of shit about myself that I’d never would about other trans people. I think telling myself I’m pretty would make me feel worse because I really do not believe that and I hate lying to myself
That makes sense. I mean if I had money for electrolysis, SRS, FFS, and so on I’d have a lot less to complain about
I don’t care about being beautiful (okay maybe a little bit but not much) I care about looking like a woman. If I could look in the mirror and see a woman I’d be happy even if I was conventionally unattractive
Some people seem so fucking happy to be trans and others seem miserable, I’m in the miserable camp but I want to be happy. Happy trans people, what’s your secret?? I want in, let me in
I’m actually really worried about the future here in the US, I’ve got no money/skills so I can’t up and move but I really don’t want to end up on an RFK "“wellness”"farm or in an El Salvadorian prison. It’s not looking to good out here for an autistic trans woman
Am I freaking myself out over nothing? Should I be this worried? What can I even do?