*Inheritantly

The only thing worse than explosive diarrhea is surprise explosive diarrhea.

I’m just looking at it as hard as I can 😳 I need this

Almost as bad as “Logan Stankoven”

Well we can’t just let him cut off his own penis and set it on fire again

On the subject of failure

Am I detecting some Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes influence?

OpenSuck™

A pedophile rapist senior citizen said he wanted a threesome with his two adult sons.

That’s not “risque,” it’s fucking putrid.

“Looking at the ballroom with your dirty peasant eyeballs is tantamount to vandalizing it, which surely will be the sole cause of its imminent decay, and not anything else. So you fuckers better not so much as sniff the air in a 50 mile proximity, or so help me God, I will deport your ass to Venezuela. A pedo President needs a new secret pedo space for new secret pedo meetings. Also, keep paying your taxes! The system is working! Vote Trump for a third term! Suck my dick!”

- The President, essentially

It’s there a third string, up the back? The model photo looks like this just sits in front of your balls, rather than supporting them from below, as is shown in the inset photo.

“Golly, that’s swell!”

The graphic designer knew exactly what they were doing here.

More like gave it

The “only barely legally distinct from that one popular book series” nature of the titles and cover art put this one in the “maybe later” category for me.

Don’t forget “always looking like a terrified cartoon frog.” He was the right pick, and really stepped into the role and is doing his own thing with it. I don’t think people are giving him his due credit there.

Good news! The President only just recently set aside $1.8b worth of taxpayer dollars just for the defense of people who were unfairly prosecuted by the governm-- oh, shit… The fine print here says here that money’s only available if you’re THE perfectly Instagramable PR show-dog for the current administration and their anti-democratic, fascist shit-show.

Well, you know, when tyranny becomes law…

Just because they love doing the job (and they do) doesn’t mean they should be doing it for free, so sayeth the Union for Employed Weasels.

I’m sure you wouldn’t be the only one, but good luck penetrating the ultimate echo chamber of “anyone who is accused of any crime must be some kind of a degenerate and therefore not worthy of any further scrutiny.”

The whole “Bricks and Mini-figs” debacle took the tiniest shred of belief I have left in US police accountability and absolutely nuked it from orbit.

Oops! The cameras were accidentally turned off. But if you can prove they weren’t, well then whoops! Here’s that footage you asked for… But all the faces are blurred and all the audio is deleted “to protect the innocent,” and for NO OTHER REASON, thanks for asking.