catter [comrade/them, she/her]

Thank you. Your constant support and positivity mean a lot to me 💜 I can’t not be myself anymore, and this is just the cost of that.

Things are very bad. I’m the most out I’ve ever been and my world is turning upside down. Fuck.

My brief bloomer time has ended 😮‍💨 Hopefully it will be back soon. On the plus side, I bought a sponge for makeup today. Small wins, I guess.

Been feeling weirdly good this week. Like, I told my partner about some of my gender experiences and they could not relate in any way. It was affirming? I am not cis, but no one who knows me has ever been able to tell me that, which has made me doubt myself until now.

It’s not perfect. I’ve come out to them as genderqueer, which feels like an in-between state for me. Still, not bottling up all of my inner thoughts is very freeing. I’ve been smiling and laughing a lot this week 😄

Being a bloomer is an unfamiliar feeling for me. I could get used to it though 🥰

That makes sense. My phone is for shitposting only 😄

Is that why we’re doing this again? Maybe I’m too old, but I don’t get the appeal of having an app for a website (unless there’s some lacking accessibility features or something else I’m not considering?)

Wow, I am so much better at navigating conflict than I used to be. I guess therapy works 😄

I suppose it depends on where you live, but I am near a city and there are queer bars, queer-centered activity/social groups (art, exercise, support groups, etc.), and spaces that are not explicitly for queer people but which seem to draw us in anyway.

Some direct things that have worked for me are

• meetup.com
• going to left-leaning spaces that have a cork board for local events
• my city’s Reddit community (usually someone has already asked about it in my case)

Sorry if none of that is new info. All of that has gotten me to events specifically for queer people, not general community things where maybe 1 in 40 people are queer ha

Opened gender stuff back up with my partner, and it was pretty rough TBH. I was honest that I’ve always felt queer but didn’t have the words for it, just knew it wasn’t safe to feel how I did in the area I grew up in. They are very supportive. It obviously is not going to work for them, though.

I guess I can now openly search for queer spaces, which is a huge improvement for me. I’m feeling braver and bolder than I ever have thanks to all of you here. This is a start, even if things are going to get worse before they get better.

Either way is extremely funny given how tight they’ve said budget is for my team 😬 I’m overworked as shit but we can drop loads of money on this? They definitely are not trying to replace people with this, they have my best interest at heart

Whomst among us has not?

Haha I would absolutely do this if they weren’t also monitoring what gets asked. The most disappointing thing of all is that I can’t even ask it anything cool.

Was just informed my AI usage will be monitored because I’m not sufficiently enthusiastic about the slop machine the bosses have dumped tons of money into without asking anyone whether they wanted it. So fucking frustrating.

Just want to say that if one of my local friends asked to stay with me for a few days because their apartment was that cold, I wouldn’t really have to think about it before saying yes. Hope things get better 💜

Unfortunately it looks like it’s only +40 to your woman stat. Still a good buff though.

Feeling more and more like I might be getting somewhere in therapy. I think it says something that I can imagine a trans future for myself but not a cis one. I actually have people in my life I’d be excited to come out to? The short term difficulty is the very entangled life I have with people who absolutely will not take it well, but I’m working on that.

Can’t wait for the next Sonic mega Rouge gave me gender envy when I was a kid. Recently, I had gender envy of the girl I saw in the mirror (the girl was me), and that connection that it was me was very nice 😃

By the way, I have now acclimated to the new glasses! Thank you for grounding me.

I have learned only recently that many people suspected I was secretly a gay man, but no one ever said that to my face until I “proved” I was by being more comfortable in femininity. I think growing up I outright told some people I wished I was a girl lol

I do feel like by episode 6 of season 2 it seems to hit its stride, but the first half does a lot of gesturing at things you might remember from New Vegas without interacting with them much imo.

That’s great! Studs should heal up super fast too 🥰 Are you planning to keep them as studs or swap other earrings?