“Eat your dice, Brennan!”

“I have some real problems with this SVU script. We can’t say ‘dick wolf’ on TV!”

“Frank, are you saying ‘soul’ or ‘hole’?”

well duh, that’s how they built the pyramids

Motherfucker looks like he sleeps in a space blanket and knows a lot about the Magna Carta.

man, you love to see a profane obelisk towering over a barren wasteland with some sort of fucked-up sun. nothin says “shit’s about to go down” quite like like a fucked-up sun obelisk.

You just summoned, like, 5⅓ Beetlejuices. Beetles Juice?

“Hale and well-met, everybody.”

“Nørmr!”

“What would you say to an ale, there, Nørmr?”

“I’d say ‘Make peace with the spirits of your ancestors, for you shall soon greet them in Valhalla.’”

Doubly appropriate since “Only A Fool Would Say That” was allegedly written as a jab at John Lennon.

Which is gonna be a real road block when they get to Step 8.

What is a boy to do???

I’ve always far preferred the Weird Al version, myself.

And try very hard to let the door hit you on the way out!

I mean look I hate to say it but Imaginary Pete Hegseth’s got a point. Y’all actually read these steps? Step 2 is just “decide to do Step 3”, Step 5 is just Step 1 again but louder, Step 6 is “get ready to do Step 7”, Step 8 is “make a list of all the stuff you have to do for Step 9”, Step 10 is just “Keep doing Step 4”, and then Steps 11 and 12 don’t matter because Step 10 is an endless loop. How many innocent Americans (and Pete) are we gonna leave trapped on Step 10 before someone finally does something?

I suppose, to be fair, I would also probably strive to do the exact opposite of anything the Heritage Foundation told me to do.

if anything they’ve reopened their account with Master Don

“Well I was trying to add Jeff Goldblum and your names are obviously right next to each other in my phone, so…”

I got a lot of mileage out of the fact that there’s a specifically Portuguese Man o’ War on page 79 of the AD&D Monster Manual, implying the existence of a Portugal somewhere in the Forgotten Realms.

“You there, on the motorcycle! Sell me one of your melons!”