I have this as well, although maybe not as badly. It comes in goes in waves and depends a lot on my current self perception. But there is also this general anxiety thinking, that clings on to every possible way something could turn out wrong. It’s exhausting, but it did get better over the years. I have also learned to live with it, when it’s bad.

The first thing I want to recommend is therapy. That helped me a lot. Hearing a professionals perspective on my negative inner dialog, helped me view it with a little more distance. I see now that it’s my brain trying to help me, trying to protect me from bad experiences, based on past traumas. Unfortunately this self protection mechanism often goes wild and hurts me in the process.

To get a grip on it all, I like to imagine my brain as a sand hill and my thoughts as marbles that are dropped on the top and then roll downwards, leaving channels in the sand. The more marbles run along a similar path the more likely the next marbles will follow them. That makes it so hard to change your thoughts, because you have to actively fight against your neuronal pathways that have been established by years and and years of this thinking. In the beginning this thinking was probably very useful. That’s why the channel grew so deep, but now it is too deep channeling too many thoughts that way. So, when I realize my thoughts keep running down the same track, I stop them and force them towards a different outcome: What if all went well? What if it’s all a misunderstanding? What if it happens, but it’s actually not bad at all? I consciously think of various ways that contradict my negative thought patterns. It is a lot of effort, but honestly, thinking of all the worst outcomes is as well.

I have a couple of mantras, I like to remind myself of ideally every day, to program them into my mind:

• The best thing I can do is just be myself (I noticed the more I overthink something, the worse it gets. Often the best thing is just to be my honest self instead of playing 4D-chess with myself to play around every possible way something could go wrong)
• Be Authentic - Surrender the Outcome - Do the Work (You can only control yourself, you have no control over the outcome. So do your best and then let go)
• Nothing lasts, nothing is finished, nothing is perfect

I also feel like meditating and reading or listening to Alan Watts and Ram Dass helped me get a different perspective on life. Instead of holding myself to my own impossible standards and then be disappointed with myself, I realized that we’re actually not that important and there is no ideal or right way to live. Life isn’t there to be perfected. It’s to be lived and enjoyed! In Ram Dass’ words: “You can do it like it’s a great weight on you, or you can do it like a dance.”

Regarding mistakes: It’s alright to make mistakes. They are actually an essential part of life! There is no getting around them! It’s kind of a framing issue. A mistake is just something you learned how to do better after doing it. But we got told to feel bad about them often enough that we took it to heart. We are often way too hard on ourselves! Way harder than we would be with anyone else. Sometimes it helps to step back and talk to yourself as if you were your friend. And why wouldn’t you want to be a good friend to yourself? In the end we’re all just kids in the inside that want to be valued and loved. A part of my therapy was to talk to my inner child, tell him that he is loved and safe.

I’ve also heard it helps to give your negative inner voice a name, like Steve. Steve wants to do everything right and is afraid of everything. He can be a real drag, but he just wants to help. Tell your Steve to shut the fuck up and relax a little.

Yeah, I don’t think that’s very helpful, but then again neither is blaming all men 🤷‍♂️

When I hear someone complain about men I always assume it’s about the way men are socialized in our society not about literally all men. It’s a way to air out frustrations, not an actual statement. Of course there are exceptions, some do mean it literally, but they are definitely a minority.

I mean I agree, it’s silly to phrase it like that, but I find reactions like this even more silly. Someone is venting their frustration about a specific experience, that fuels a general frustration with the way a significant portion of men behave (which includes heinous crimes that are systemically perpetrated by men against women). And the reaction they get is “Well, actually, it’s not all men, you know?”. Like, come on. Is that really what’s being said here? Isn’t that reaction a kind of whataboutism? Instead of talking about what caused this or showing some empathy, you really want to make fun of it and point out the semantics?

So, a “huge majority of women have been telling men not to talk to them”, but only a “a small but very loud percentage of men are jackasses”?

What makes you so sure it isn’t the other way around? Or it’s very loud minorities on both sides?

Is now a good time to invest in stocks?

Vin Diesel. He’s the driver obviously. Over the next movies he brings in his crew one by one until the furious and oceans franchise are one entity

Alright, I see it. Who are Mario and Luigi then?

same

The console looks like a Cybertruck and a Game Boy Classic had a baby.

Ouch

Is !bmoviebonanza@lemmy.world leaking?

“patriot humor us”

Schitt’s Creek is currently on Netflix. One of my favorite, wholesome sitcoms!

Prime has surprisingly many, at least here in Germany

Dungeon Food and 3-Body-Problem got me hooked immediately. Normally I wait before a season is complete, with those I couldn’t.

Interesting! I read the book before the first movie and felt pretty let down, especially by it’s treatment of Lady Jessica. I liked the second movie a lot more. I think I just managed to dial more into the audio-visual journey of it all, instead of comparing it constantly with the book in my head.

uBlock Origin addon for Firefox should get rid of those

I also noticed a change. From one day to the next I suddenly got lots of reddit links in the top results

This is exactly the Cyberpunk we expected. Cyberpunk has never been shy about being a dystopia.

I wonder if you can

Yeah, I don’t think going on the offensive is going to help you. It’s just going to alienate everyone.

I don’t quite get how you still get woken by the bells if your house is isolated and you wear ear protection to bed. There must be a way to get your bedroom soundproof.

It sounds like your issue isn’t just the sound of the bells. I’ve lived near a hospital with ambulances blaring students coming and going randomly at every hour. After a while we got used to it. Now, when I rewatch videos from back then I’m surprised to hear them, because they aren’t in my memory. What I’m getting at is that your opposition to the sound, your anger, is drawing your focus. I don’t think you can get used to them if they keep triggering strong emotions in you. It might be a long shot and I understand this isn’t the solution you are looking for, but maybe you can get used to them eventually. Humans are really good at getting used to new conditions. You can’t control your environment, but you can control your reaction to it. It sounds like some zen shit, and it is, but reducing your anger about the bells and accepting them as a new part of your life, might help you get your sleep back. There is no physical reason, why you shouldn’t be able to sleep through the bells ringing. So, at least in theory, you should be able to change it by accepting it. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but it should be possible and if you manage to do that, you will be able to handle similar issues as well.