I like how they designed it to run like it’s got a full diaper

“lol my friend took my phone and typed that”

Mainstream leftist party not have at least one terrible stance challenge - difficulty: impossible

Oof ouch owie my yttrium

Hopefully gravity doesn’t visit a McDonald’s anytime soon

“If everyone is so concerned about gays up on the higher levels of government, maybe they should gaze upon deez nuts lol”

Lmao, even

I also have a few ravens in the neighborhood but I hardly ever see them. Still holding out hope for the heavy artillery.

We are much closer to the weed number than I ever thought possible, please do the funniest thing ever President Xi

After several years of feeding the birds and squirrels in my backyard, I’ve finally gotten some crows to start coming around regularly. I’m now conditioning them to associate my whistling with snacks, it’s only a matter of time before I can launch my corvid-assisted revolution.

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I really wish I could believe that these stock market shenanigans being laid bare as a public spectacle will bring class consciousness to a lot of people who otherwise wouldn’t have it, but deep down I know that chuds will just chalk it up to another lib-owning moment and libs will temporarily increase the frequency that they walk around holding bazingaesque signs while disowning anyone who does $1 of property damage.

If I wind up sharing a cell with one of you, I call dibs on the top bunk

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What are the odds that China eventually just halts all exports to the US as retribution for the tariffs? If that happens, what are the subsequent odds that the US starts a war with China? Not feeling too swell about the current state of affairs

Especially now that all of the raw materials required will be tariffed lmao

Conservatives stop looking for an “easy solution” to extremely complicated processes they don’t like challenge

You know it’s the most logical and efficient system of economics when the speculative value of major corporations swings by 5-10% every time a 78-year-old makes a social media post.

Comrade Trump doing more to dismantle capitalism in a week than any of us could ever dream to do in our lifetimes

Pretty soon they’re going to have to pay you to take Nvidia stock

Always good to just come out and say stuff like this this in a market that is based purely on speculation, hopes, and dreams