kurremkurrak [any]

Good for you for sticking with it. Maybe try to set aside some time for a conversation where you’re like “I’m happy to help you with X, but also there is a lot of shit going on in my life too and so I can’t help you this much with Y or Z.” Even if his behavior doesn’t change much afterwards, clear communication might help avoid resentment on your part.

I think (worry?) that what you see as a self-own, he sees as a flex.

Experiencing trauma can contribute to memory issues, unfortunately. I’m not sure what a great solution is. That sounds hard.

But I’d say at the very least, it’s appropriate to reinforce that bringing up trauma can be retraumatizing to other people and needs to be kept to therapy.