Getting out in front of the Epstein release I see.

Great. Release the Epstein files.

Trump and his cronies should rename it the “Just Us” department.

Hurr durr.

Who can afford pan these days?

Or what? What’s gonna happen? At best the court will appoint an interim committee to oversee disbursement, but I can’t see them conjuring a new branch of government to make that happen. At worst, stern finger pointing.

|Shares have dropped by a fifth

Saw what they did there.

Hmm, so: “That last monkey, however, remained on the loose as of 2 p.m” AND “Wildlife and Fisheries department to help find the remaining monkeys.”

I mean, it could be that other, non-COVID/non-herpetic/non-whatever monkeys were also in the truck, but…

Funny! Google says, “As of June 2025, there are approximately 1.31 million active-duty troops”.

So, American trooper: Heahs yo dahlla.

Nothing like “a day late”, eh?

To be fair, the White House might look quite nice once the Epstein Ballroom is finished.

Also, DJT should DIAF (whatever those letters mean, it’s something I saw somewhere).

Trump should stand… Oh, about there, to direct the demolition. No, a little more to the right. Perfect. Close your eyes, Mr. President.

Two or three people believed to have been killed…

So we don’t know how many people were on the boat, whether they were killed, injured or what… But by God damn we know there was 600,000 kilograms of cocaine on that boat, along with 72 ounces of weed in a box under the pillowcase in the cabin next to two Tylenol in the night stand.

Any commander involved in this is a murderer, plain and simple.

Ooh, is it because Putin has video of Trump raping, then strangling to death a minor because it made him feel big and powerful?

Probably not. But maybe.

Me, too. BUT, when we read an absolutely idiotic statement from NK, we had to ask, “Wait, did the translator get that right? Nobody is that stupid, right?”

This way cuts out the middle man. Yes, they absolutely are that stupid, no question.

Yeah, like I’m busting up the concrete again.

“Moderate Overlap Front Crash Test” makes it sound very… niche. It sounds like acing the “Multi-vendor Cup Holder Compatibility Test”, where McDonald’s, Wendy’s, and Popeye’s cups all fit.

But this is good news - after a crash, a Tesla owner can admire the sturdiness of their intact front-end while they burn to death because they’re unable to open the door and escape.

Thank goodness for the CDC… oh wait. Worms ate it.

I wish I could upvote this more than once. The “implodes”, “loses their minds”, “in a panic” headlines are getting tiresome.

So, he wins the “Nobel Pity Prize”. Wonder how he’ll take that? Proudly, like a preschooler who wins an “Everybody is special!” prize? Or sternly: “Look, Nobel committee, even she thinks I should have won!”

Or did she do that so he’d stop assassinating Venezuelan fishermen? Time will tell.