I like self checkout because I steal from major corporations without fail. They will almost always just scan you in if you add something small and extra to your bag and the machine complains. Never been caught but if I am it must not have scanned. I don’t work here. How would I know how to work these things?

What? That’s actually what enables the joke. I usually hate the red circles and shit but you can’t just turn your brain off and get pissed every time you see one in any context.

Wizzy gonna dick down that pie. Do some pieception. It wasn’t a cream pie before but magic can make it happen.

Came here to say this. Damned lies. The hobbit is such an easy read.

That you should be flirting with me instead

My man draws a bespoke image for this by hand and you nitpick? I will fight you.

You have far too much trust in your printer

I clicked in hope of sexy images not interest in the poster. But I still love you.

Are you an idiot?

Never have a gun within reach of the printer. Do you want to die?

Furry transfem transform?

Is it just me or do these guys always look like they’d look you in the eye while committing any imaginable atrocity?

Well it’s either you or her. Get better at communicating or tell her to figure out her shit.

“doing my nut in” is doing my nut in

horcelain throne

Ah, yes, lies.

But what do I do with the body?

Whoops that’s salvia!

Nah. Over meaning greater than.

I like the pictures of corn and peas in the meme in case we can only understand by image

Straight up lost my shit laughing at this. Thank you.