rtstragedy2 [she/her, pup/pup's]

i spent much of my trip reading https://archiveofourown.org/works/41618376/chapters/104391288 Divaricated which is set in HDG but much less like overtly “smut” than something like Wellness Check and I think it kind of gave a voice to how I feel about raising pets in general. I could really relate to Thatch’s fears about screwing up and breaking someone who trusts and depends on you.

Honestly it was a really good story that gave me a lot of insight to how my bf feels as well - Thatch is such an interesting character and being inside her head helps me understand when my bf says thinks like he gets something out of taking care of me etc.

i’m not done it yet but like the first half is just this … i don’t know, it was good idk

cringe culture is largely harmful tbh and i would keep anyone who calls things cringe at a distance personally and not be very open around them about things i’m vulnerable about. if i had to guess as to its function, i would say it is a tool to enforce assimilationism and “respectability.”

yes!! there are so many good insights in this paper, like holy shit, on the surface this paper is about an online trend but like I feel like loads of transpeople - puppygirls or not - can probably identify with a lot of the struggles it presents, like the bits about trans history and expectations of society, the way we’re sometimes expected to be “one of the good ones” with a job and career and to never be horny in order to distance ourselves from “fetishists.” I think there’s an intersection somewhere between the whole AGP shit and the history of trans people being forced to be sex workers (which isn’t something I really knew about until I read this paper), I wonder if anyone has written anything about that.

Like your quote said, human is a loaded term - the paper says at one point:

Learning how to become a good dog – or being trained by a loving, caring owner – is a byword for unlearning humanity, with all of its noxious baggage of compulsory cisness and sanism.

I even appreciate that they talk about the autism connection as well, since I can at least speak for myself and say that I often don’t feel like I’m human the way allistic people claim to be human. I also didn’t really think of the societal definition of “human” as requiring people to be cis but it does make sense in retrospect.

they must have been secretly studying me for i have been psychoanalyzed. but i do think so much of the struggles that lead to this blanket rejection of “fuck your stupid expectations of me” are something queer people all share, and of course we resolve it (or don’t) in our own ways.

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/08164649.2025.2556256#d1e630 (also there are memes in this paper which is very funny to me as it will like “if you refer to the meme in Figure 3, you’ll see that this girl is in fact a ‘good girl’”)

I am now declaring that people can call me a puppy if they want. No unsolicited scritches or "good girl"s or asking me to do tricks though, i’m not ready for that and also i reserve that for close friends only.

ive been on for many years now but i have been told that i am very small now, the smaller the better imo. for sure the testosterone generators shrunk a lot which is nice, that was a big part of the dysphoria. still don’t like having it but its much less intimidating these days.

yeah i saw xlube recommended so i thought i’d try, i was concerned about the extra stuff in j-lube. why does it have sugar in it, anyway? seems like that would just leave residue and stuff

Its nice but it dries out a bit too quickly for my tastes

oh i didnt’ even consider that, i have some “Fuck Water” thats like 6 years old that i think is mostly still fine (although the problem is its a tiny bottle so its hard to get enough out of it, which leads to chafing) so I didn’t think lube could “go bad” or “dry out”

actually i also liked these little metal anklets you can buy, they just look cute… and i found a trans coloured collar which was really cute… i’m not going to buy any of them but i like to look at them

“interesting” is a hard category … i don’t want to kink shame anyone so i won’t give specifics on these as there’s no need, i’ve experienced every emotion from “ew” to “oh that’s cute” to “i need that” to “who could possibly be into this” to “who would pay that much for anything on etsy” to “wait that’s only $40?” to “holy fuck that’s legitimately terrifying why would anyone” and even “this is medically unsound and no one should be using this ever for its stated purpose”

probably the most interesting to me personally is some of the paw mitts you can buy there i’ll probably order a pair when im back from my trip.

i think in general i’ve learned that anything in black or in that medical-off-white (or prison orange) scares me, i’m literally scared of colours… but loads of things on there are scary to me for other reasons

if you had told me 10 years ago that etsy of all places would become the best place to buy kink stuff i would not have believed you

also i guess amazon? this is so weird to me

also: most of the stuff on there if you’re just browsing i have decided is very scary