Nah bro that’s a short. THIS is the video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQJL3htsDyQ

My favorite part is when the news yell “It’s newsing time!” and news all over the place

This person is rich enough to own stocks. It’s good that they’re feeling some negative effects of what they voted for, but calling a 15 % dip in their portfolio “suffering” is kind of devaluing the actual human suffering that Trump’s policies are causing.

Oh, they’re soliciting tips, are they? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Gaslight, obstruct, project.

Actually, the princess was bait. She never was in need of rescue in the first place

It says Diplomacy, but both are fitting actually

Well when you put it like that, I’d rather learn. I’m not particularly keen on burning kids

Hold up, am I crazy or is this showing that the temperature at the North pole was 15 °C in January? What’s the source of the picture? What were usual readings in previous years?

Are they?! Well I better keep mine safe

This but 2D metroidvanias

I looked at it and I do not regret the decision. 9/10 would look again

I bet it does ^/j

To be fair, if you’re buying drugs in the US, you’re probably getting ripped off by default

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!

— me to your rant

Hey now, stop fact checking, will you?

I read that url as blog.johnmastodon.org and for a second I was seriously wondering if that name was real lol

Yep! My fridge has a one-tap 30-min timer specifically for drinks in the freezer (you can also then adjust the time with more taps). Needless to say, it is one of the most used functions of my fridge (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

Make a Google calendar event with a permalink to it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That’s not a full moon emoji, dammit that’s not even a half moon emoji