I didn’t do it.

Damn leftist, they ruined leftism!

Could Joey Chestnut eat hamburgers like that?

Elton John!

That’s my name! Well, not really.

No, more forever wars in the Middle East!

You are

Brah, you just need to have a rock star attitude about being 27.

That’s a good guess, unfortunately it’s a different episode. Although Homer does go to Miami in this episode as well.

Too bad he couldn’t be stuck in Weird Al’s accordion.

Correct!

My school taught me that most people in Columbus’ time thought that the Earth was flat and that Columbus would fall off the face of the earth during his voyage.

If only Phil could’ve relived the same day over and over again until he was able to patch things up with his wife.

Bake him away, toys!

Aw, there’s only one beer left and it’s Bart’s.

My parents could tell tails about how I used to run into the hedge. One time I really bloodied my my knuckles.

The cat isn’t supposed to talk anyway.

Yeah, and he’s bowling a 280.

Correct!

If you’re referring to the prohibition episode, that’s a good guess. Unfortunately, it’s not the correct episode.

Where’s the any key?