clever & funny bio goes here

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Joined 11 months ago
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Cake day: February 25th, 2024

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  • Because I’m procrastinating at work:

    How many sessions of coitus might it take to accumulate 5 km of cock thrusts?

    Estimates:

    • average erect length: 13 cm (from Perplexity.ai)
    • average number of thrusts in coitus: 300 (ibid)

    Calculations

    • thrust distance per coitus session: 13 cm x 300 thrusts x 2 (accounting for insertion & removal) = 78 m
    • coitus sessions to accumulate 5 km of thrusts: 5 km / 78 m = 64.1 -> 64 sessions of coitus

    So OP’s wife would have to fuck 64 times to accumulate 5 km of cock. Even with amazing refractory periods, that’s still a minimum of 32 guys running a train on her.

    Edit: working through this reminded me of that episode of HBO’s Silicon Valley where they started talking about handjobs and hotswapping dicks and hit on middle out compression.




    • doesn’t return shopping cart to corral at the store
    • rude to service industry people or anyone else they see as being lower status
    • mean to animals
    • if she has kids, treats them as a burden/neglects them
    • expects me to pick up the tab for everything at all times, excepting rare situations like “we’ve been together a while & live together, she just lost her job but is actively looking”
    • has a breathalyzer interlock on her car’s ignition
    • in general, acts cruel or mean to people without obvious provocation
    • any form of physical, emotional, or verbal abuse
    • excessive consumption of alcohol or marijuana
    • any consumption of harder drugs
    • any other sign of gross immaturity or irresponsibility not listed above - i’m looking for a partner, not a dependant







  • Cold. Work was closed for a couple days due to inclement weather, so during the abbreviated week it has been hard to stay focused and productive.

    In more positive news I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and started on atomoxetine. I’ve been on it for nearly a month, and I feel like it’s helping. Last week I was consistently having three to five hours of productivity per day, where before I was doing well to get that much in a whole week.

    For me at least I feel like there’s some truth to the screencap I see floating around in adhd communities about:

    My brain has two productivity modes:

    • 30 minutes of work in 3 hours
    • 3 hours of work in 30 minutes

    It switches back & forth randomly and I don’t seem to have any control over it.