Lemdro.id
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
eldain@feddit.nl to Dad Jokes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 1 year ago

🧑‍🤝‍🧑👬👭

feddit.nl

message-square
23
link
fedilink
  • cross-posted to:
  • lowqualityfacts@lemmy.zip
474

🧑‍🤝‍🧑👬👭

feddit.nl

eldain@feddit.nl to Dad Jokes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 1 year ago
message-square
23
link
fedilink
  • cross-posted to:
  • lowqualityfacts@lemmy.zip
alert-triangle
You must log in or register to comment.
  • 🇨🇦🇩🇪🇨🇳张殿李🇨🇳🇩🇪🇨🇦@ttrpg.networkBanned
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    26
    ·
    edit-2
    9 months ago

    Removed by mod

    • eldain@feddit.nlOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      18
      ·
      1 year ago

      Did you know that if you took every elephant on earth and stacked them up to the moon, they would all pretty much die?

      • Agent641@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        14
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        Did you know that a blue whales carotid artery is so large that a small child could swim through them, but neither the whale nor the child would enjoy that.

      • 🇨🇦🇩🇪🇨🇳张殿李🇨🇳🇩🇪🇨🇦@ttrpg.networkBanned
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        edit-2
        9 months ago

        Removed by mod

    • MIDItheKID@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      1 year ago

      Did you know that if you took a blue whale and laid it lengthwise across a basketball court, the game would be canceled?

    • suigenerix@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      Fun fact. If you took every dodgy, corrupt politician and lined them up end-to-end in space… you should probably just leave them there.

  • Lad@reddthat.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    1 year ago

    If every human held hands around the equator, it would make a very long line.

    • vovo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      If 8 billion people hold hands and every person would take up 1.3m, the line would go around the equator 250 times. About 6 billion would drown.

      • T00l_shed@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        1 year ago

        Solving climate change.

        • yessikg@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          1 year ago

          Only if all the billionaires and 1% top polluters are the ones who die

          • T00l_shed@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            1 year ago

            I wish.

        • vovo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          1 year ago

          True. Still: how much would the sea level rise?

          • T00l_shed@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            1 year ago

            Less than the icecaps melting.

    • cally [he/they]@pawb.social
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      No, a line is when there are people waiting in front of you, not when they’re beside you holding your hand.

  • GeneralEmergency@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    Would they though? Surely the people on land could hold the weight.

    Maybe not across the Pacific, Atlantic maybe. Just fashion a human suspension bridge.

  • potoooooooo ✅️@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    1 year ago

    Not if the chain were pulled taut enough.

    • Hadriscus@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      But if you’re a link in a ring chain, isn’t pulling just tightening it ?

      • potoooooooo ✅️@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        Well, now both seem right. Can we get a physicist consultation? If you pull a rope bridge from both sides, it raises it. But if low enough, that puts you in the water…?

        • WIZARD POPE💫@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          1 year ago

          There is a length at which the weight of the rope itself exceeds the force exerted to tighten the rope and not break it. So basically you can have a tight shirter rope, longer saggy rope, or you have 2 ropes.

    • rsuri@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      1 year ago

      In that case people would be dismembered, and then drown.

  • AeronMelon@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    1 year ago

    “I’d like to teach the world to swim,
    Oh shit, was that a shark?”

    • Rhaedas@fedia.io
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      1 year ago

      The Coke commercial was the first thing that came to mind even after all these years. I never knew as a kid I was watching a mass murder/suicide.

      • CheeryLBottom@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        What? Did I miss something?

    • NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      teach the world to swim

      Just look at this picture, all the water around the world. It is swimming already, isn’t it?

  • Sam_Bass@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    1 year ago

    True, Captain Obvious

Dad Jokes@lemmy.world

dadjokes@lemmy.world

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: !dadjokes@lemmy.world

Description

This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

Rules

  • Clean jokes only please. If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old and they can understand, you probably shouldn’t post it here. Please post edgier jokes to: !unclejokes@lemmy.world
  • Adult topics with which to be cautious or avoided: drugs, sex, death, racism.
  • Must post text, image (e.g., meme), or direct link. Do not post external links that cannot be viewed directly from the community (e.g., link to joke website, Facebook, Instagram, etc.)
  • Follow Lemmy.World Code of Conduct
Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 70 users / day
  • 602 users / week
  • 2.22K users / month
  • 6.1K users / 6 months
  • 45 local subscribers
  • 22.2K subscribers
  • 1.57K Posts
  • 7.49K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • loopy@lemmy.world
  • UI: 0.19.11
  • BE: 0.19.12
  • Modlog
  • Legal
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org