• Ganbat@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    1 day ago

    Look, I’m an autistic fuck who can barely speak to people, but even I’ve never considered coughing up blood as a conversation starter.

  • LaLuzDelSol@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    59
    ·
    7 days ago

    When I was like 10 I remember reading advice in a body building magazine that has stuck with me ever since:

    “Don’t try to pick up girls, literally or figuratively, at the gym. Women don’t feel sexy when they’re sweating unless they’re already naked.”

    • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      5 days ago

      And every time I mention the fact that there are no places anymore acceptable to ask a woman out besides the bar (not much of a drinker, also not abstinent) or online (I don’t even social media):

      Some dickhead: Just get a hobby bro, go to the gym!

      no.

  • Cruxifux@feddit.nl
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    65
    arrow-down
    5
    ·
    7 days ago

    I never tried to impress women at the gym when I was single. I go to the gym to focus on self improvement. I do not like talking to other people when I’m there. I do not like looking at other people when I’m there. I also know that women at the gym mostly loathe men trying to pick them up there. So basically if you’re at the gym you’re a dude to me. And if you’re a dude don’t talk to me.

  • Bassman1805@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    33
    ·
    7 days ago

    In high school I had a crush on this girl who had something on her Facebook about really liking gummy worms. I read that, thought “this is my in” so I bought a bag of gummy worms. Honestly, not a bad plan. Next time I saw her, I pulled out my bag of gummy worms and ate a couple.

    Did I offer her a gummy worm? No. I was under the impression that she’d see me eating them and say “hey, you like gummy worms too?” And then we’d start chatting and [something] and then we’d start going out.

    • spireghost@lemmy.zip
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      6 days ago

      Well, clearly it wouldn’t work. You should instead act like you hate gummy worms and give them to her to get rid of them.

      • Woht24@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        12
        ·
        6 days ago

        He developed a gummy worm addiction and became morbidly obese, leaving the work force and receiving a disability pension.

        • CoolMatt@lemmy.ca
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          5 days ago

          Awwww damn…

          I went through my girlfrriend’s cashier lane at the grocery store for 3 years before fingering out how to get her number without not being just another dick rolling through when she has an endless supply to choose from. Turned out she had been waiting the entire time for something to happen

  • ✺roguetrick✺@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    28
    ·
    edit-2
    7 days ago

    The correct assumption when you see frank red blood on exertion is either lung injury/infection/cancer or terminal alcoholism. It’s usually the later.

    • Kitathalla@lemy.lol
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      11
      ·
      7 days ago

      Latter*

      Also, don’t forget the ever fun Mallory-Weiss tears if your sudden exertion involves something like jumping, or, since it’s also associated with heavy alcoholism, after a long and good barfing session.

  • Empricorn@feddit.nl
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    18
    ·
    7 days ago

    Wow, it took until their second sentence before they demonstrated how completely unhinged they are.

  • iAvicenna@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    13
    ·
    edit-2
    7 days ago

    well I mean if she left even without notifying staff or anyone that is a pretty clear red flag but then again so is spurting fake blood to get attention. so maybe they would have made a nice match.

        • iAvicenna@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          edit-2
          6 days ago

          It’s funny this was around the same time as movies like Evil Dead which set the record (till 2020s atleast) for the amount of fake blood used. I guess it was a thing that excited people quite a lot at the time lol

    • FauxLiving@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      7
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      7 days ago

      that is a pretty clear red flag

      This isn’t a red flag, this is a predictable psychological response:

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bystander_effect

      The bystander effect, or bystander apathy, is a social psychological theory that states that individuals are less likely to offer help to a victim in the presence of other people.

      • Taleya@aussie.zone
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        6 days ago

        Alternatively: op was not a suave and clever as he thought, has very obviously been macking on this woman, looked at her, took a sip from his gym sippy cup, spat red shit on the floor at her feet and then stared at her.

        I’d fucken run too

      • iAvicenna@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        6 days ago

        I mean I do understand the sense of weaker responsibility when there are other people around especially those who are immediately responsive and seem like they know what they are doing. But being the first one to witness a distressing event and vacating the premises immediately without informing even the staff is an outlier example, even for this theory imo. Just to note though we are probably discussing this over some made up story.

        • FauxLiving@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          6 days ago

          Just to note though we are probably discussing this over some made up story.

          Assuming ‘fake and gay’ is the default in the land of greentext.

  • Hikermick@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    3
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    6 days ago

    That reminds me April Fools Day is approaching. When I was young I worked in a haunted house where we made blood capsules using Karo syrup, red food dye and put it into empty capsules. I deal with two guys at work that like to get stupid stoned at lunch time