I have been having a really tough time with emotional regulation for several months. Every slight irritation feels like fucking nails on chalkboard, where something like buying the wrong thing at the store and not noticing until I get home might make me want to scream and throw things. I don’t, but a lot of the time with annoyances I just loudly swear as kind of a pressure release and when it’s really bad Ive been white knuckling it so as not to hit myself or throw shit. Normally I just let out a loud “FUCK” or “GOD DAMNIT”. Not screaming, but much louder than I talk
My partner is from a normal healthy family so me raising my voice or just exasperatedly saying “fuck”, not at him, but at the thing, is really upsetting to him. I don’t see the big deal because my mother is a fucking cyclone of screaming and chaos so I’m very tame in comparison. But, I know it’s something I need to try to control, I guess, but I feel like I can’t. It’s just an instinctive reaction, especially when there are a couple mistakes/annoyances stacked on eachother.
Any advice if you struggle with this? I go to therapy and my therapist sucks so thats not helpful right now
There’s a lot of good advice about emotional regulation here! I think there’s some work that can be done around perspective, though- especially as you’re coming out of burnout.
It seems like you’re very attached to specific outcomes, like you don’t know if you can manage or be safe if things don’t work the way you imagine. Can you try to center your flexibility in these situations? Thoughts like, “this isn’t what I intended but I can make this work,” or “this will take a little longer now, but I still like doing this” (using cooking ingredients or computer work as examples). Feeling competent and capable leads to feeling safe, and positive self talk, even if it feels cringe at first, helps get you there faster.