I’m 42 (TransFemme). I work from home. Have precisely zero close friends and not even any real surface level friends that don’t live 4+ hours away. Acquaintances at best and none I can comfortably call upon when shit goes sideways. I have no family. They all have either passed or, like my original friend group, disowned me about a decade ago when I came out and transitioned. So no one to put on an “In case of emergency” contact form.
Work holds no meaning other than a paycheck. I don’t really feel a desire to improve a billionaire’s bank statement with my hard work.
It feels like I’m just going through the motions. Biding my time until the inevitable. I know I can’t be the only one. Heck some of y’all may even be flourishing after similar situations. For me? Everyday feels more lonely than the last.
How do y’all do it?
(No this isn’t an unalive myself cry for help. Yes I am in regular therapy. I just don’t have any other avenue for asking such things besides publicly here and some other socials)
EDIT to add: I live in very rural US and unfortunately moving is not an option for me at this time or anytime soon.
I also work from home and have friends at work. I keep up with them. My non-work friends are just people I know from a hockey blog. I have a half dozen of them. Other than that it’s my wife and my extended family.
I find that I’m pretty lonely, but I have learned to handle it. I have a bit of social anxiety so I enjoy being at home. I am also depressed, so I try to force myself to do things with family that I otherwise wouldn’t do.
If I had none of these people, I would probably be a lot worse with my mental health. But as others have said, to make friends anymore you must actively try to do it. That is unusual for people our age (I’m 41), but we have to learn.
Being from a rural area, I know how unenlightened people from there can be. I hope that you can be yourself while out in public without incident.