You must log in or register to comment.
Broadly speaking I agree since entitled guys certainly exist but also I’ve heard some women describe condom sex as feeling like getting fucked with a sandwich baggie and not their favorite
“feels like I’m being fucked by a rubber duck” are words from my now wife that I won’t ever forget.
Neither sex prefers condoms to no condoms. No pair of sexual partners ever utilize them unless they have a good reason to (and even with a good reason, many people don’t, lol).
Neither sex prefers condoms to no condoms.
I can’t speak for everyone in my gender, but I’ve rarely found an issue with them. Desensitizes the man so he lasts longer, comes pre-lubricated so that’s one less thing to worry about, and neatly addresses the post-sex mess. There’s even a little fun foreplay right before the main event, if you’re feeling kinky.
No pair of sexual partners ever utilize them unless they have a good reason to (and even with a good reason, most people don’t, lol).
Especially early in a relationship, they were always bog standard for me. Rarely met a partner who didn’t feel the same way. Admittedly, the AIDS epidemic was in my rear view mirror growing up, so maybe I’m just more paranoid about unprotected sex than the Zoomers.
I can’t speak for everyone in my gender, but I’ve rarely found an issue with them.
Not what I said, though. Do you prefer sex with a condom to sex without? If not, you align with what I said.
Especially early in a relationship, they were always bog standard for me.
That’s obviously in the “good reason” category. Also agrees with the other part of my sentence, as tons of short-sighted people forgo them altogether, including one-night stands with strangers.
Do you prefer sex with a condom to sex without?
I don’t have a strong opinion either way. I like sex and I like a sense of safety. With new partners, or old partners who fear a risk of pregnancy, condoms guarantee both and that makes me feel good coming and going.
I don’t prefer unprotected sex when it leaves me paranoid the day after. There’s more to the experience than just degrees of friction.
You’re missing my point, which I thought was clear, but add “when the condom is not preventing anything” to the end of the bit you quoted to clarify it.
My point is that, unless you have a good reason to do it (the source of the “sense of safety” and the prevention of the “paranoia”, described above), you’re obviously not going to do it.
If your partner is infertile, and you know that both of you have no STIs, neither of you are going to want to use a condom. Condoms are used because they’re needed, not because they’re wanted.
but add “when the condom is not preventing anything”
“Would you wear a seatbelt if you knew you weren’t going to crash?”
I don’t know that. I don’t know the condom isn’t preventing anything. That’s the whole point. It’s a precautionary measure that let’s me enjoy sex without worrying about the consequences.
If your partner is infertile, and you know that both of you have no STIs, neither of you are going to want to use a condom.
Okay but what happens if you’re having sex under the age of 50?
My birth control is my face. Been working great.
What a weird way to tell us you are really into facials…
Vasectomy solves all your problems, dude.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HILARIOUS, I’VE NEVER HEARD THIS CONCEPT BEFORE
My gf never allowed the use of them since day one
Tried them when she had her iud out briefly and she didn’t enjoy whatsoever
But man bad I guess
I mean it’s her choice, which I think is the important part to consider here. Not all birth control medications affect women the same. Some women can be on birth control and the side effects are actually helpful. But a lot of birth control medications really fuck with them, leading to some nasty unintended side effects that seem pretty wild when compared to the only side effect of appropriate condom usage of “doesn’t feel as good.”
The meme isn’t saying “man bad” it’s saying “side effects of condoms aren’t nearly as bad as fucking with women’s hormones.”
That’s true, but it’s also worth considering that it’s not an either/or option and the use cases vary a bit.
Both can be used as contraception.
Birth control doesn’t block disease.
Women can use birth control to control their own reproductive cycle without (in most cases) needing to coordinate with anyone else except maybe a prescribing physician, and has allowed them to have much more freedom of lifestyle since invented. It reduces the worry that a partner may try to baby-trap them with the “oops condom broke” or pulling an Assange and removing it partway into coitus. The common varieties of latex condom are not an option for everyone due to allergies etc, and sometimes even without the allergies can have other negative physical side effects
Birth control CAN have negative side effects. It also CAN have positive side effects (some use it for bad acne, or to reduce cramps) due to that same fucking with hormones. I know women who use it for either situation rather than preventing condition
Birth control (pills) plus condoms are also more effective than just one of the other.
That said, the final choice of birth control should absolutely be with a women (so long as it’s an honest one) but sometimes in a relationship it’s worth a discussion of the benefits and drawbacks between both parties.
Can confirm the women’s hormones part. When my wife was trying a new birth control pill one time, she was extremely paranoid about everything. It took a while to figure out the new pill was the source. She normally has some anxiety, but this was well off the charts. Other pills caused different issues, it was a roller coaster there for a while.
yeah I dated a couple women who loved their birth control because their periods were really bad, and the pill removed that from their life almost completely. Then other women who never could find one that worked for them, and so we relied solely on condoms. I loved having sex with all of them, 11/10 would not impregnate again
Nah this meme is just misandrist rage bait. Male birth control doesn’t exist because we haven’t figured it out yet. I think we are getting close though.
male birth control was like, the first birth control we invented? condoms?
Also vasectomies are stupid easy to perform, and even if you change your mind afterwards, all your baby making stuff is still present. They can completely reverse a vasectomy within 5 -7 years, and after that, IVF. Anyone who reads this meme as misandrist either lacks reading comprehension or is wildly misogynist.
I’m talking male birth control pills. Condoms aren’t really effective enough to be birth control on their own
I mean, is 98% effective not effective enough?
I personally wouldn’t want a male birth control pill, because I’d have to remember to take it, and it’d inevitably have unforeseen side effects. Add into that the hassle of getting it paid for through insurance, having to go to a doctor for it, what if that one doesn’t work, gotta try a different one, each time you have to commit to taking that pill for several months to ensure your body adjusts to it before you can rule it out… what a nightmare! Nah, I’ll just wrap my willy until it’s time for a vasectomy.
I’ve gotten someone pregnant before with a condom so my experience is different than yours I guess ha
lmao ok I understand you now, brother haha
same with my gf. allergic to latex and hates the fact that other options use animal skin. so i have no choice but to go in unprotected. tough world but ill live 😂
She isn’t allergic, she just says she doesn’t enjoy fucking a sandwich bag
no she is allergic she cant wear latex gloved
Oh my bad I was talking about my situation ha
Non-latex non-animal condoms are quite common where I’m from, are they rare in your country?
ITT: A bunch of sexless virginal men’s rights activists
Get a snip, Skip
Multiple previous GFs and my current fiance hate them
I prefer to be on the pill, honestly. I get that it isn’t the sane experience fir everyone, but there are multiple other options other than the two mentioned. Even when it comes to pills, there is also the mini pill which has no estrogen and therefore can help with some of the negative symptoms. I started taking that one because I had a few negative reactions to regular birth control pills.
With the mini pill you have to be pretty precise with the time of day where you take it but once you have that down, it’s just so pleasant. In my case, it entirely stops menstruation and stabilizes me. I get to live a very normal life without all this cycle shit disrupting me.
I get that not all women feel about their periods like I do, but for me, it has always felt like an assault on my body that I have to be in pain, have crazy mood swings and feeling gross every single month. I don’t have any of it anymore thanks to the mini pill.
Again, there are many more options to go for when it comes to birth control, other than pills and condoms and in general I don’t want us to demonize it. Especially not in these times where there is a genuine push in American politics to spread anti-birthcontrol propaganda online.
The last two sentences are why, unfortunately, birth control will always be the primary purview of women.
No matter how good, convenient or easily usable birth control for men becomes, women are the ones who actually have to deal with the consequences of unintended pregnancy, and not using birth control yourself risks you having to deal with it when your partner either lies to you about using it, or simply makes a mistake and forgets to use it.
Men have to deal with women lying (edit and honest mistakes with forgetting) about being on birth control as well. Women have the physical consequences, but both parties suffer the lifetime consequences of having to care for a child if either lies.
Even if we had a reversable birth control for men that was readily available, I’d be shocked if women just blindly trusted the man that they were on it.
There’s a lot of trust going both ways and I imagine because of that both women and men would want to be on birth control until they trusted their partner sufficiently to make the decision for one or both to stop.
Edit: like I’ve never had a 1 night stand, and even if STDs didn’t exist, I’d never trust that she’s on birth control if she said she was, I’d still use a condom.
I also know one couple who had a kid because neither bothered to check with each other about birth control… no condoms, she wasn’t on it, he didn’t ask, and she got pregnant.
Utterly baffling to me.
Those are similar to if not precisely the circumstances under which the majority of unplanned pregnancies happen, and ~40% of all pregnancies are unplanned.
Lots and lots of people are just horny idiots who are really bad at considering the potential long-term consequences of their short-term actions.
I… did not know it was that high, and the reason was that stupid.
Wow.
And these are the people who then have children.
Corrected to nearly 46%, with source. 🫠
No matter how good, convenient or easily usable birth control for men becomes
This is a strange thing to say, considering that contraception has never been more effective, more convenient, or more easily usable for men, than for women.
condoms are super convenient, what?
An object you have to physically carry around with you and have on your person in the moment every single time you have sex, versus things like:
- a pill that, while needing to take it daily, leaves you protected at all times, you don’t need it on hand at the time of the sexual encounter. And most pills aren’t even that strict about what time you take it each day, as long as it’s around the same time every day
- a vaginal ring that only needs to be swapped out once a month (and can safely be removed for a few hours during sex itself without losing efficacy, if desired)
- a shot that lasts 3 months
- an arm implant that lasts ~5 years once inserted
- an IUD that can last for over a decade once inserted, depending on the type
Condoms are far less convenient than any of these.
This is referencing ongoing research and efforts into developing male birth control, obviously. That’s why I wuite clearly wrote “becomes” and not “is”. That’s a fufure tense, so the current or past state of affairs isn’t exactly relevant, now is it ?
The amount of guys I’ve met in my whole life who outright refused to wear a condom was… One. Singular.
Called him an idiot. Then he ended up catching an STD. His dick burned for two weeks and I couldn’t stop smiling.
Anyway, this seems to be another one of those comics that tries present abnormal behaviour as a common thing.
Yeah this comic reeks of manufactured gender war content
Not only that, but the fact is, the vast majority of the time a Bad Thing (e.g. STI transmission or unwanted pregnancy) happens from unprotected sex, it’s because both partners simply didn’t care enough to use anything. Even taking the idiot in your example, he got laid in the end, that’s how he got what he got.
Without these idiots of both sexes, unwanted pregnancy would be extremely rare, and almost no STI would survive longer than a generation.
This. There’s always (at least) two people who are having unprotected sex together.
There’s nothing more sad or depressing than an unwanted child that two people ruined their lives over.
Yep. Plenty of women out there that insist on having sex without condom as well.
Exactly. Had this happen with two women.
Idk why the comment acts like woman themselves dont choose to do it outside of relationships
Depends on where you live/your cultural context. The number of times I’ve heard from women in recent years that men refuse to wear condoms has been truly surprising.
Surprises me cause I bet decent men won’t have problems with a condom while most substandard men would. No one talks about decent men as much as ones that are bad. Also, if you hear many speak about these men, maybe their preference in men is flawed?
The point is not how common or uncommon this is. The point is the phenomenon itself. Also, your personal experience in how common this is cannot be used as a basis for knowing the general prevalence. The truth is, it does happen. Not all men, but always men.
Not all men, but always men
“Not all X but it’s always X” is a common neonazi saying. Using it in a different context can even be a dogwhistle in some cases
Thanks for pointing that out. I have zero interaction with neonazis and didn’t know.
It’s also a pretty stupid argument, tbh. Which is why it’s used very often by neonazis.
How so?
What do you want to say with it?
We are talking about men not wearing condoms and you point out that it’s only men who can and don’t wear condoms. Like, yeah, of course, because its only men that can wear condoms.
So that point of the argument becomes a tautology without actual direct meaning. It turns from being an argument into a pure attempt of framing/manipulation, and that’s not good style in a discussion.
Apart from it not making any sense in the context of this discussion, the argument itself is pretty flawed in general usage too. The general chain of discussion is usually like this:
- A: I am making a wild claim that characterizes all members of group X to be Y.
- B: I am refuting this claim by saying that only a very small amount of the members of group X are Y.
- A: It’s not all members of group X that are Y, but it’s always members of group X that are Y.
So it shifts the argument. It goes from “All X are Y” to “Some X are Y”, while not acknowledging that shift. It’s a variant of the Bailey and Motte fallacy.
The “it’s always X that are Y” inversion is usually done in a tautological way.
“Not all muslims are islamist terrorists, but it’s always muslims that are islamist terrorists.” -> Sure, because to be an islamist you need to be a muslim, but there are tons of non-islamist/non-muslim terrorists too.
The point is to throw off the person you are talking to, because that tautological part cannot be disproved, and that might make someone stumble in posing a counter-argument.
Not all men, but always men.
- No shit, we’re talking about condoms, goofball.
- How would you feel about someone saying “throwing your newborn into a dumpster, women are horrible…the truth is, it does happen. Not all women, but always women”? Would you instantly magically understand the massive logical flaw once the ‘target’ isn’t a demo you’re already biased against?
My point is that saying “not all men” every time a problem is addressed is undermining the discussion. Until you have experienced the relentless harassment of women by a subset of the male population, funnily enough present in every country on Earth, please don’t lecture me on bias.
saying “not all men” every time a problem is addressed
saying “not all men” every time all men are held accountable for what a tiny minority of men do*
Fixed.
The only thing it “undermines” is the sexist generalization.
Not all men, but always men.
And this is what bullshit looks like.
Ok. Now what does an argument look like?
Do I actually need explain what misandry looks like, or why it’s bad?
Condoms do 100% suck. Especially if they hacked off a piece of your dick that significantly reduces its sensitivity and function when you were a baby.
I literally do not enjoy condom sex at all. That’s why I got a vasectomy. And also I don’t want kids ever anyway and I wish I had gotten a vasectomy the instant I hit 18, what a waste.
Sorry — but if you don’t enjoy condom-sex, I think a fair consequence is that you are excluded from sex.
So by that vain, it’s fair to say any woman who can’t take the pill should also be excluded from sex or what ?
Nope. Just men who won’t do their fair share.
Yeah, thanks for letting me know you’re not worth talking too. You’re the one who should be excluded from sex.
Touchy.
Oh fuck off. It’s up to the couple, not you.
Literally said he got a vasectomy at 18, your point is stupid.
No, they said (emphasis mine):
I wish I had gotten a vasectomy the instant I hit 18
The sentence before that: “That’s why I got a vasectomy”
He got a vasectomy.
He did not get a vasectomy when he was 18.
The other guy wrote: “Literally said he got a vasectomy at 18, your point is stupid”, conflating the two statements from OP.
Yeah, true. My bad. Shouldn’t write comments when not paying attention lol
Condoms help also against diseases. No way I put my dick somewhere unprotected…
Don’t have sex with randoms?
Yeah, no.
Condoms are great then but still not 100% effective
Brave that you’d reveal your mental illness so openly.
I’m sure you’re just trying to be insulting… but which of the mental illnesses do you think I’m projecting?
And thank you for revealing your own intolerance of the mentally ill. Nice.
Conservatism. You’ll deny it, but that’s what you have. Sex negativity is fundamentally conservative and authoritarian.
And thank you for revealing your own intolerance of the mentally ill. Nice.
My sister has bipolar, is an annoying tankie, and is generally narcissistic and unhinged. I had to live with her for the past few months because she needed a place to stay because she broke up her boyfriend. It was fucking miserable and I kind of think shes a bad person like yourself. But I’d still rather live with her than even momentarily interact in person with someone who thinks people should just be excluded from sex because they can’t enjoy it with condoms. You’re piece of shit, I hope you have not reproduced.
You wish you lived my life. I wouldn’t trade with you.
Also… zero compassion for your sister is really attractive. I’m sure those romantic partners are just lining up.
You wish you lived my life. I wouldn’t trade with you.
No actually I wish I had not been born because I think temporary existence is a curse worse than never having lived. But now that I’m here and mortal I might as well live it up while I can before I have to face the terrifying eternal void that is the grave.
Kind of weird to bring up how great your life is. I said you were a bad person, not that you were living a bad life. Perhaps you agree that you’re just a bad person? No refutation there? That’s ok TBH I actually don’t even know if I care that much about your individual virtue anyway. I just hate your ideology and felt disgusted that you have it.
Also… zero compassion for your sister is really attractive.
I do have compassion for her. I just think shes annoying and a bad person and I’m happy to not live with her anymore.
I’m sure those romantic partners are just lining up.
Why does this even concern you? Do you think I act this miserable in person? This is my post Trump re-election misanthrope account. I just vent all my disgust on here.
Getting pussy and bussy is easy. Getting one with meaningful connection is difficult.
After ICE blinded another protester, I spent this morning researching protective eye gear that’s light weight, effective, and comfortable to wear all day.
It sounds now like we have more in common than we don’t. I shouldn’t act like a dick at Lemmy.
We are not one another’s enemy. We know who is our enemy. We must not forget this.
It’s my personal opinion that having sex with a condom is worse than not having sex, and I’m not getting a vasectomy until I’m confident I never want kids. Their reversibility is dubious at best and it’s not worth the risk if you aren’t 100% sure. I’m pretty sure I’ll never have kids, but I’m not even confident enough about how I’ll feel a decade from now to get a tattoo… so making such a big choice is out of the question.
I’m happy to just not have sex with women who aren’t on birth control. If you feel this is wrong, the solution is simple. We can just not have sex together. Problem solved.
It’s my personal opinion that having sex with a condom is worse than not having sex
Hard disagree. Good sex with a condom is still good sex. Plus if your reason for using a condom is birth control you only need the condom for PIV, and everything else can be completely unwrapped. I don’t know about everyone else but I fucking love foreplay and just worshipping my partner’s body while they do the same to me. Honestly it’s the best part of having sex
Plus there’s something super sexy about getting all hot and heavy, teasing and playing then grabbing the condom and unwrapping it. The moment you or your partner break that package open there’s a commitment that this thing is going on thos penis because this penis is about to go into this vagina, and it’s happening right now, not in 20 minutes after more play, it’s happening right now.
Or don’t just take my word for it, take GirlOnTheNet’s word for it (obviously NSFW!)
“Hard disagree” with an opinion? He’s not asserting anything, just saying how he feels, lol.
there’s something super sexy about getting all hot and heavy, teasing and playing then grabbing the condom and unwrapping it
I think you just have a condom kink, lol. As a furry who’s been exposed to a LOT of kink, this sounds exactly like how artists who draw condom-centric furry porn describe condom usage.
For the vast majority of people of both sexes, condoms are a necessary nuisance, at best, and they’d much rather get to it without having to deal with one.
Nah, I find it nearly impossible to have an orgasm with a condom. That, and it genuinely just hurts. I know there are specially made condoms for people on the larger side, but what’s the point? I really just don’t want to have sex with a condom. I’m happy to just not have sex. It’s not a big deal to wait until I’m with someone I love for the long term and have a conversation about long term solutions. I’m looking for a life partner, not a hookup, and condoms aren’t really a “every time you have sex for rest of your life” type solution, both in terms of efficacy and satisfaction.
until I’m confident I never want kids
With the way the world is going, reproducing is certainly a choice. But if it truly remains a concern, there is the option of freezing sperm.
I got a vasectomy and it has been amazing. Easily one of the best decisions of my life.
With the way the world is going, reproducing is certainly a choice.
Oh, please, with this nihilistic nonsense. When in history would you have said “it’s a great time to reproduce!”?
When in history would you have said “it’s a great time to reproduce!”?
It’s irrelevant. “It’s a choice” is also quite literal; modern contraceptives have only really been available for less than 100 years.
Education and access to information are also key points that cannot be hand-waived.
Edit: I’ll offer a counter-question. How bad would things have to get before you decided that it would be a bad idea to reproduce?
After hearing about embryos/eggs being misused, I can’t trust my genetic material to some corporation. If I could do it myself that might be an option but hardware fails. I’d rather just keep my faculties intact and be discerning with who I have sex with.
That’s a very fair concern, given the fuckery we’ve seen from corpos.
This is so nihilistic, dramatic, and ridiculous.
The lives of ordinary people have been far far far far worse for 99.999% of human history.
Don’t be such a doomer.
What? You are opposed to freezing sperm? Or opposed to vasectomies in general?
THIS.
I do not know why women don’t 100% block an asshole who doesn’t want to slip one on.
Mostly because the women I have been with were long term and they preferred not having a condom and on the pill. So I agree with them. It does feel better. But I always try one for the first few times. But it always migrated to not using one.
You don’t want a kid? Man up and get a vasectomy.
Took ~2 days of discomfort afterward and now I’m shooting vegan cream pies all day long.
You don’t want a kid? Man up and get a vasectomy.
What if you don’t want a kid now, but will want one later?
Permanent sterilization isn’t always the answer.
You can have it reversed within ~6 years and regain a high percentage of fertility. You also have the option of storing semen for later in a sperm bank.
You have options. Sperm quality also degrades over the lifetime of the man, so saving some from your earlier years may have less chance of genetic defects.
You can have it reversed within ~6 years and regain a high percentage of fertility.
No responsible doctor will recommend you get a vasectomy under the assumption that you’ll be able to reverse it if you change your mind.
It is not meant to be reversed. You should only do it with the expectation that it’s permanent; it’s supposed to be permanent.
I think we’re going to have to agree to disagree here. You obviously have very strong opinions about this.
Yes, a vasectomy is meant to be permanent, yet you -can- reverse it. I wouldn’t personally consider it a temporary solution, but some people might.
You obviously have very strong opinions about this.
It’s not an opinion, that is the only responsible and ethical way to go about it.
Medical standards, such as those from the American Urological Association (AUA), explicitly state that a vasectomy should be counseled as a permanent procedure. Using its potential reversibility as an incentive to persuade a hesitant patient is generally considered a breach of the standard of care.
Also something that’s rarely considered: while vasectomies are often covered by insurance, vasectomy reversal very rarely is, and can cost over $10,000 out of pocket, in the US at least.
‘I can always reverse it’ should not be influencing one’s decision to get a vasectomy, nor would any ethical doctor say anything along those lines.
I’m not saying anyone should get a vasectomy assuming it will be reversed, nor that doctors should counsel it that way. It should absolutely be approached as permanent.
My point was narrow in that for people who are done having kids or strongly don’t want them, vasectomy is a responsible alternative to refusing condoms. There are -also- options like sperm banking or sometimes reversal, if you want to take that gamble. Acknowledging those options isn’t the same as recommending reliance on them.
We agree on the issue though: it shouldn’t be treated casually or as temporary. Beyond that, I don’t think there’s much left to argue.
Your balls still produce sperm. Easy extraction if needed.
For the curious: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Testicular_sperm_extraction
Not an expert in this, but I believe that it must be used in conjunction with IVF.
