The most useful rock is this one we’ve got in our kitchen. It looks exactly like a potato. We’ve named it Kevin. It sits there in the fruit basket. Sometimes the cat (my favorite living cat) cuddles with him. Sometimes when we’re peeling potatoes someone will add Kevin the Potato Rock to the pile as a prank. I fucking love Kevin.

Here’s a picture of a potato I got off the internet. Or it might be Kevin and I’m fucking with you. Today it is Schrodingleheimer’s Spud.

The moons a pretty cool rock. Gives us tides and stuff. Probably one of the biggest historical events of last century was putting stuff on it.

Salt?

Ice?