A Seinfeld reenactment of other famous movie scenes would be hilarious.
Jerry: She literally said, “life is like a box of chocolates”?
George: Yes, she said, “you never know what you’re gonna get.”
Jerry: “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get”?
George: Word for word.
Jerry: They have a card in them…
George: They have a menu.
Jerry: Right, the little menu card! So you know exactly what you’re getting.
George: I told her that.
Jerry: So what did you do?
George: I took that box of chocolates and I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d run to the end of town. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d just run across the Upper West Side. And I figured, since I run this far, maybe I’d just run across Manhattan. And that’s what I did. I ran clear across Manhattan. For no particular reason I just kept on going.In my head I’m hearing George increasingly yelling his lines in this and it’s great.
I toyed with the reverse scenario: Lt Dan taking Forrest and Jenny to meet the Shrimp Nazi
I’d fuck with The Wizard of Oz where Elaine is Dorothy, Kramer is the Scarecrow, Jerry is the Tin Man, and George is the Cowardly Lion.
100%. Newman as the wicked witch, J Peterman or maybe Frank Costanza as the Wizard. Something offensive about Mickey being a munchkin.
Edit: no, Steinbrenner has to be the wizard, right?
The Soup Nazi as the gatekeeper?
I am also old, and remember that cover of rolling stone
Bugger. I’ve never seen this before, but given how seamless the archetypes are, I’m glad someone else made something of it.
Krammer: “hey whatchu guys talkin about”
George: “Some guy offered Jerry some pills”
Krammer, suspiciously interested: “What, like some drugs? That’s a bad scene Jerry!”
Jerry: “Not to worry Kramer, I turned him down.”
George: “No water. Can’t take pills with no water!”
Krammer: “Kind of weak reason to turn down pills, but good on you! I made that mistake once- (dramatically) NEVER AGAIN.”
Jerry: “Why am I not surprised?”
Krammer: “Guy claimed he was some new age Indian Yogi, had the robes, whole bit! I was out for three days, and when I came to I was on a fishing boat 30 miles off of Nantucket!”
George: “You never told us you were a longshoreman.”
Krammer: “I wasn’t. They pulled me in with the catch. Apparently I thought I was a tuna!”
This is more believable to the characters and writing.
And that “turkey kramer…” I can see him as a tuna flopping after being caught. LMAO
https://tenor.com/bZ3R5.gif - Kramer (Seinfeld) Happy Thanksgiving
I can picture this so clearly
But he had a glass of water!
there is no water
This isn’t about The Matrix, this is about an earlier scene in this hypothetical episode of Seinfeld. In this hypothetical episode one may deduce from the dialogue that Jerry was not offered water. But yes, in The Matrix, Neo had water.
But there is a glass of water and Neo drinks from it in the scene
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zE7PKRjrid4&pp=0gcJCWQCo7VqN5tD
There is no glass of water
Kramer: “I know kung fu Jerry”
Always struck me the amount of scenes in shows and movies where they just dry-pill it actually.
Apparently it’s to save runtime… But it always just makes the audience think the character is making a strange choice - or breaks the fourth wall with the reminder they’re taking a pill without water. But hey, you saved those 3 seconds of b-roll of the character sipping water, grats.
I can take a pill without water. It’s not pleasant but I can do it. I don’t, however, look natural while taking it like I do with water. The raised neck and facial contortions I do and the time it takes would make those 3 seconds with a drink a far better choice.
I can dry swallow and do half the time. Am I doing something wrong ?
Well, you don’t simply have to get a pill into your throat, it also must go all the way down.
And some pills like sticking to the throat lining very much.
And you might not notice that.
And, sticking in place, they can lead to nasty things, like inflammation or chemical burns - aspirin, for example, does that.
The water is there to prevent that.Just conjure sone spit and swallow. It’s not hard.
What am I, some kind of spit wizard?
I went to spit college, got my spit masters. They ain’t just give these spit wizard robes out to just any dipshit who gives them ten fifty five
Well la-de-da, boys, we gots us a silver spoon nepo wizard. Me mum was a hedge witch and thats mighty good enough for me. We all know why you like to visit the island of elderly sluts on backwards-but-only-the-first-half day.
Yeah I just surround the pills in a bolus of saliva and let fly.
water allows your kidneys/liver to process the medication
The pill needs to dissolve in a better liquid than just stomach acid. It never stops being weird how people don’t understand that, it’s not even something that should need to be taught since it’s obvious. All pills made to swallow are made to be swallowed with water.
I almost always take pills without water when I’m out
I never take pills with water. Just swallow a few times to get things lubed up, then get a decent wad of spit and send it. I think I’ve gotten a pill “stuck” maybe three or four times.
Ironically, Neo does chase his red pill with a glass of water in the movie. Maybe Morpheus was in a hurry with George?
i think theyre leaving a lot of character development on the table by skipping those few seconds. how does the character actually swallow a pill? where does the water come from? what do they do if theres none immediately on hand? maybe they fuck it up a little and we get a comedic moment of them kinda half choking on a pill for a second. maybe they just throw it back like theyve had a ton of practice.
I would have them drink an absurd amount, like 5 glasses back to back, every time one of them takes a pill.
“But I don’t want to be a battery!!!” [Said in a whiny voice, by an adult man that dated a high school girl]
You think that’s rough? My spoon is too big.
I am a banana!
Tap
I have spent over half my life quoting this animation, please send help lol
Kramer enters in a leather coat
and to everyones surprise starts yelling the N word a bunch.
Hot take: Jerry (the actor) is way more racist than Richards. Richards had one (admittedly very bad) moment that he’s spent every moment since apologizing for; Jerry continues to support Zionist Israel.
Elaine: You guys need water just to take a little pill?!
George: It was a huge pill!
And then Jerry laughs as a bunch of Israelis gun down some more children and says “Palestine? It doesn’t exist!”
Seinfeld bops play
What is this? A meme for 1999?
What is this? A meme for 1999?
Yes, but I have a good reason:
Tell me… why?
Ain’t nothin but a mistake
Kramer: Boys, what if I told you everything you’ve ever thought you believed was a lie, reality is a dream, and we’re the only ones who can save the ENTIRE human race‽
Jerry: Eh, I’d have to think about it.
A car speeds to a stop beside you. Kramer in the passenger seat, Mel Gibson driving.
“Get in,” Kramer says, “we need to save humanity.”
Select your character:
- Pete Hegseth
- Some black Jewish dude
Anyone remember the fan made script of a post-9/11 Seinfeld? Gotta go look that up.
The Pill isn’t meant to be put in the ass? Don’t need water for that
