(note: i myself am not a femboy nor a man)
be nice, dont fetishize ppl, have respect
…my femboy boyfriend likes to be called sissy
yes but its still usually a disrespectful sexualizing slur.
The use of “tranny” there bothers me. Like, ok, people think femboys are trans women when they not, and I get that part. But why use the slur? The idea is the femboy is saying this, he should know the correct terms to use. The meme works just as well with “I am not a trans women” instead.
I think it being there is part of the point. It, more than anything else, highlights that the kind of pigeonholing the meme is about comes from a place of ignorance for sure, with a tie towards the same misogyny and bigotry that fuels transphobes.
The femboy in the image is objecting to the term not just for himself, but as part and parcel of hate.
The (hypothetical) femboy is quoting language that has been used about/against them. It is perfectly acceptable for someone who has been a victim of derisive language to use that same language to retell.
I have to disagree with you there. It is up to the people the slur is intended to refer to, to reclaim it. I have been called the R word before. I have no intellectual disability. It is very much not my place to try to reclaim it.
But regardless, the theoretical femboy in the meme isn’t reclaiming the word, he is denying being a part of that group while using a slur for that group. That’s not reclaiming, that’s rejecting it for themself but accepting it for trans women.
To steelman Ashen a bit here, it would not be the place for the hypothetical Femboy to reclaim a slur that was thrown at them because the hypothetical idiot was also just stupid and thought the Femboy was Transfem. It is not a Femboy Slur but a Transfem Slur, and a Femboy copping it would be controversial. There is already the tension that plays out between the two packs in the LGBTQ+ Clan, not really a reason to add more fuel to that fire.
You are correct broadly speaking though: The victim is in the right to reclaim victimizing language so that fools can no longer wield it as a weapon. It is just that in this case, the language used was not victimizing(in the sense of the word itself being degrading specifically against the hypothetical Femboy), it was the (assumed) context that the hypothetical idiot knew the person was a Femboy and used it as a double-slice against the Clan and against the hypothetical Femboy by mislabeling them in general.
It can also be short for transvestite as far as I understand
I consent to the characterization “a gay Wikipedia”.
Dear gay Wikipedia,
I come tome you in times of need, as I’m having a hard time understanding gender fluid dynamics.
Your work is greatly appreciated, and my understanding of gay thermondynamics has vastly improved. Thank you very much!
I hope you’re having a good time :DDear Gay Wikipedia,
How are you? I am well. What are gay thermodynamics?
-Your pal, saltnotsugarThank you saltnotsugar, I am also well, what a coincidence, we have so much in common! Let me answer your question.
Gay thermodynamics, is a field of queer science that concerns itself with ‘how hot gay people are’.
It is governed by the well known Gay Laws of Gay Thermodynamics.
The zeroth law of Gay Thermodynamics, sometimes but not always attributed to @Cypress@lemmy.zip, states that Everyone is Hot to Someone.
The first law, states that when Queerness changes in the presentation of a system (gay glowups, transition, conforming outfits, boymoding), the system’s external Hotness changes proportionally. This also results in the observation that, when not observed in a specific context, every person is hot, as there is nothing to conform to, for any Queerness to be nullified.
The second law states that in friend groups, the sum total of Queerness of the interacting friends, is never less than the addition of their individual Queernesses. A common corollary statement, is that being friends with queer people, makes one hotter, as Hotness passes from the hotter person to the cooler person, without reduction of the source individual’s Hotness
[Apparent Exceptions Rare, explained by the first law]
(as long as there is no reduction in the source individual’s Queerness. For examples of the latter, see “Interactions of Queerness and Fascism”)
The third law states that, a person’s Hotness becomes measurable (converging, rather than approaching infinity) as their Queerness approaches zero. With the exception of hotness derived from the second law (which can be considerable), the Hotness of a person or group, with Queerness at absolute zero, is typically close to zero.
With regard to “Interactions of Queerness and Fascism”,
Contemporary hypotheses suggest correlation to the fact that ICE is particularly lacking in Hotness.There are few specimens less hot than ICE agents, after all.
Everybody is hot to somebody.
The second law of gay thermodynamics is that if you walk into a room looking like that, you’re going to suck up all the oxygen, sweetie.
Its almost like we should just listen to people about what their experience is or isn’t. Instead of assuming we know better what their experience is than they do
Unfortunately a lot of femboys only learn about themselves through the over-sexualized shit. I’d still experiment with the style if people weren’t so awful about it
Okay so what if you’ve been identifying as a femboy for years, then said fuck this, I’m gonna transition. So you take hormones, remove body hair and really, really hope to just pass as a woman one day, presenting tomboy-ish. And if you don’t get far enough, you’ll just go back identifying as a femboy. There’s no social or presentational dysphoria, but the others are very real.
I accept her (she likes me seeing her as a woman) wherever she ends up, but goddamn, it’s confusing as fuck.
Okay so what if you’ve been identifying as a man for years, then said fuck this, I’m gonna transition…
People should experiment and explore to their heart’s content. Never feel like you’re tied down to identifying a certain way just because you did it first. Don’t feel like you’re betraying anybody by being yourself.
Yeah, that’s a great perspective. Really liked the idea of labels being working hypotheses, for ourselves first and foremost and are of course always allowed to change.
I kinda feel I’m taking an easy way out with the labels, I want to be a woman so that’s what I am. For me the harder part is defining what a woman actually is.
I kinda feel that. It makes me feel better that defining womanhood is something a lot cis women deal with too
These are the best realizations… Suddenly it goes from othering to almost gender affirming :3
![[not nsfw just "spoiler tag"] [cw: slurs in anti-slur context] i am a femboy.](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/pictrs/image/c6f44568-d43d-448e-a825-f4ae58b38137.webp){kind=link}