i love patches! (and personally don’t have much of an alternative) for the least irritation, i just gently scrub it with soap every shower and it’s normally gone by the time i cycle back to that location. if i need to clean it immediately, i’ll gently rub the area with an alcohol swab. if the irritation is too much maybe moisturise afterwards as well
transmasc friend had two different dates with bi girls who both had issues with him being pre-op, one even had the audacity to label him as afab. is the bisexuality in the room with us right now? also fuck cis people using agab language, it’s just inclusive misgendering 
fuck i forgot POTS was treated that way, i was scared about getting audhd diagnosed for the same reason. maybe i’ll be more explicit with my symptoms next time
i cut coffee as soon as i started but yeah, cannabis has been my cope drug for quite a while. if my watch is accurate at all then my resting HR is around 70, after getting up and taking my meds it goes to around 80-90 and peaks to 130-150 if i’m standing for a while/doing shit/just more anxious than usual
thanks for the breathing tip, i’ll try it out! also tysm for replying, i super duper appreciate every time you give advice here 
i swear i’ve written and deleted a dozen posts in the last few weeks but we need to beat the news mega so i thought i’d try to push through today
i’ve been feeling pretty out of whack since i stopped weed and started ritalin. i definitely feel like i’m functioning better day-to-day but my anxiety has been through the roof. i was able to go 6 weeks without any weed or alcohol and i think that might be the longest i’ve been sober in 5 years yayy. i had the normal withdrawal symptoms like insomnia and loss of appetite but all that calmed down around week 4
i also mentioned having more frequent dizziness to my psych and he told me to check my HR with my GP and brought up the possibility of POTS (which after looking into, looks like i have most the symptoms of). at the appointment my GP kinda just brushed off the POTS thing and took my heart rate which was 150bpm. she said we’d check again in 4 weeks and if it’s still high probably reduce my medication. that freaked me tf out and made me buy a heart rate tracker to try to self-monitor. fingers crossed i can keep my meds cause they’ve been so goddamn helpful
so i’ve been taking some time off work and last week made my first open source contribution (using a language i haven’t used before) 
. definitely felt a lot better than the normal start side-project -> ditch it a few days later routine that i’m used to, especially since it’s an app i use regularly
also just started using a hair diffuser since realising that i got wavy hair. along with that, my hair is finally long enough to tie up into a ponytail! and holy jesus fuck it looks so hot now, i don’t know what to do 
and to celebrate Weed Easter, we had a friend stay over on the weekend. we got really high, talked a bunch, i lost my voice, we went to the cinema to watch Flow, cried a bit, went home, got high again, watched ISTTVG, i cried a lot, we played mario party and ate lots of chocolate, then friend went home the next day. it was a really good time but damn i remembered how much i like to 
. oh well restarted the sobriety streak on Monday, maybe i can go longer than 6 weeks this run
Up with trans
someone said they liked my outfit the other day and i’ve been riding that high ever since. it wasn’t even one of my favs but thank you
you wouldn’t like me when i’m woke 
took some THC last night and spent about an hour bawling my eyes out before bed
that’s me most nights 
thank you! 
there’s dozens of similar moments i’ve almost shared here but this one was really special
this time last year i went to a public art gallery and saw this painting:
“Sometimes I wonder” by Anne Wallace
it was the only thing there that made me cry (just a tiny bit, i wasn’t taking estrogen yet). i kinda explained my feelings as “feeling held back by capitalism, like i can’t figure out who i really want to be because work doesn’t allow me the time”. sometimes i would wonder if i could be someone else and maybe actually be comfortable with who i was…
we went again today and it was still up, i had a bit of a laugh at myself when i realised it was just my gender dysphoria on a canvas lmao. like the original sentiment was correct, i was feeling held back. sure, by 
but more so by my gender and addressing that helped me enjoy life way more. i was able to actually enjoy finding a bit of a personality because i no longer had to share it behind a mask of masculinity
so yeah, pretty funny to see it again post-
. maybe seeing it the first time helped accelerate that a little bit, who knows
comfy-ass bralette 90% of the time, bra for the 10% where i want to make clear that I HAVE TITS
i had no idea about any of that but i will be using this as an excuse to devour more avo
fuck yeah to cute glasses
every day my hair is longer than it has ever been and yet it is still too short 
i need me a witchy hair grow spell
ooh that looks fun, i’ll have a look at it tonight. thank you!!
i still have some visible hairs that i don’t know how to colour correct but a few rounds of laser makes shaving so much easier
i finished I Love Amy and it was fantastic, very glad that i picked it up - 10/10
but i need moooooore! are there any other (completed?) yuri recommends i can source from the mega?
i wore a swimsuit for the first time last night
it was at this day spa thing with my partner and her mum, i wore a one piece with a swim skirt over the top which hid pretty much anything i was concerned about. i was hella anxious about getting clocked/weird looks but none of that happened (or if it did, it was too subtle for me to notice)