Hey.
I don’t know where to go from here and I don’t even know where to go.
I have a wife, she is amazing. We both made a horrible decision two years ago. Atleast I think it was a horrible decision, she personally has no problem and is totally fine.
We bought a cheap property next to a church. We lived around the corner in an older apartment that had no insulation and it was “okay”. So I thought to myself sure, new house has new insulation and should be fine.
Wrong. Now I am in debt, live in a garbage new house with church bells annoying me every single friggin day I am at a point the only thing that could save me in this situation is a huge war and someone bombing my house as excuse to move away.
I can’t leave this crap with 500k debt. No one is going to buy this shit.hole either. I am so unhappy and can’t believe I agreed to buying this cra.p property.
I am thankful for every minute I can stay at work to avoid the bells, I sometimes take extra shifts. I also sometimes don’t come up but drive to our local park and stay there til late afternoon.
I only come home to sleep. And even at night the church bells go on and on, I use facemask that has music playing so I am atleast able to sleep a few hours at night.
If I could undo one thing in my life is not buy this property.
I hate my life now.
I wish I could just grab my wife and move to somewhere else but we are doomed to stay here til we die. I earn enough money and my wife and I got in a arguement recently. I told her it would be possible to rent a second home so I can stay a week there and a week here and so on. She didn’t agree with this idea, and yeah it’s not the best idea. But I would only have to stay in this house two weeks every month with a second rental home. It only has to have a bedroom. I can shower at this place.
I googled all kind of weird stuff. Like accident fires, accident flooding damage etc. but this is so risky I can’t even do it. The best thing that could happen at this point is a war, some nation bombing this house or a natural desaster wiping it away. And with that being said it’s so sad because many people don’t have homes and would be thankful. But understand, these church bells are so loud and annoying. I talked with the church priest and he can’t do anything for us.
Just look at the wildfires in california. So many people lost everything and they’d be grateful for this cra.p I have to live in. I should be thankful but I can’t be cause those bells are getting on my nervs I can’t think clearly anymore. I think the debt also has a lot to do with how I think about this house. I have no other option than to live here now and it gives me an anxiety I can’t explain.
I feel so bad for writing this and whats going through my head. I know the struggle of people not having a house. Not having a job. Not having a partner they love etc. But this house is killing me. I was so happy two years ago when I didn’t own a house - atleast not this house. I always wanted a house. But not here. Not in this town… not with these people. I am sad. I failed to communicate my thoughts when we bought the property and always thought positive. “I will get use to the bells.” “I won’t hear them inside with this good insulation”, etc… but no. It sucks.
Every minute not here in this house is a good minute. I use to be addicted to World of Warcraft and quit. Now I bought a headset with good insulation and started playing again. I think I lost my life to this game again because this game lets me escape the bells, the noise. I can’t use our garden cause of the bells. I wonder how long my wife will watch…
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If you have the money to rent a second place you have the money to install sound specific insulation. I’m sure your new house insulation is fine for it’s intended job of thermal insulation but efficient and effective sound insulation is a whole different thing. Pick a room or two and get them upgraded.
If you got money for a rental home, what about spending that money on new insulation for the house, specifically for noise? Maybe new windows too cuz I’ve heard that helps. Maybe an infrared camera to see where the cold air is coming in, cuz sound will be coming in too. Where is your bedroom? Maybe move it to the other side of the house? Could you go on a mission to build your bedroom into a fortress of solitude? If it’s big enough and you ok losing the floor space just build fucking a cinder block wall around the peremiter of your room, then drywall over it so it looks normal. Idk if cinder block would be best but you get the idea. Maybe hire a sound proofer expert to get ideas?
I’m very sorry you have to deal with the bells. Sleep is so vital and lack of sleep can genuinely be so destructive to your life and health. I hope you find a solution. I get not wanting to sell the house for a loss, but is it work your life and sleep?
This was my thought. Insulation is usually one of the generally cheaper things to add to a house.
Boy there is a lot of negative stuff with your wife. If youcan’t leave this crap with 500k debt then she can’t leave this crap with 500k debt. She might just be making the best of it, but even if she loves it you plainly stated there is no way out. So whats with thats last sentence. Are you the damsel in distress that your wife needs to save. I know how church bells work and on most days it does it on the hour. Go enjoy your garden from five after the hour till five till then take a break with your headphones and watch something or play a game for ten minutes. You have agency and you can work around this. Its unclear if you added good insulation as you said with your positive thoughts at buying but if you have not then do that as you can. Think about a floating floor on second floor with added insulation and then carpet if you can. Find the quietest room in the house and put up tapestries or just take one room and put up acoustic deading tiles. It will look ugly but if should create a refuge. The fact is you youself state you and your wife are stuck financially so the only way forward will be adaption and mitigation.
So…it’s just bells? I used to live next to railroad tracks that would shake the entire house 3 times a day one of those times being roughly 2am. Bells seem pretty easy to either get used to or negate with better insulation (not THAT expensive all things considered), or headphones (cheapest option).
Idk man there’s far worse things in life that could be going on to consider bells “ruining” my life.
Bells resonate in ways trains do not. I have lived near both and you get used to the train. You never get used to bells.
Damn next time I hear a train horn I’ll be sure to tell it that it doesn’t “resonate”
How do you misinterpret a single sentence?
I guess we have to do the ol /s around here too…
Edgar Allen Poeposting
Fr though just tear down some walls, paint it white, and throw it up on AirBnB while you find a condo somewhere
What? How can the church ring the bells all night?
In Germany they don’t shut them off and they want to keep it that way “Culture” so they can’t be sued. It isn’t “noise” in germany. So I can’t do anything.
Some but only a few churches turn them off. But I haven’t seen/ hear of a church near where I live that doesn’t have them on at nights. So it’s always loud near churches here.
Oh, it’s like once an hour so people in town know what time it is, right? It’s like a European medieval thing. Here in the states they only really ring on Sundays.
And at 5 in the morning, 11 in the noon and 8 at night for 5 minutes very loud the whole time.
Wait they don’t play every hour? Just petition to cut or lower the noise of the 5am one, there’s no way you are the only person in range that takes issue with it.
11 in the noon? Noon= 12pm. Do you mean 11 am?
Oh my god I’ve never heard of this, I’m so sorry. That’s absurd
Sell that shit and cut your losses.
And even at night the church bells go on and on,
Is there a noise law in your town? Night bells seem problematic.
Church is protected, doesn’t count as “noise”
A question, since it bothers you but not your wife: why don’t you get some high quality ear plugs, and rely on her to be your alarm? Or get one of those alarms that shakes the bed. Hell, if you really wanted to spend money, you could look for some fancy in-ear monitors with active noise canceling and earplug-like tips, I know they exist – the bonus being you’d still be able to use your phone as an alarm and it would just come through the earbuds.
You might have to try a few different options to find one that ticks all your boxes for comfort and noise canceling ability (everyone’s ears are different), but surely it’s cheaper than a house fire.
I am in a situation similar to you, my whole self shuts down with the noise. I bought a house next to a park thinking I’d be safe from noise, then two months later someone moved in next door who thinks it’s okay to run a circular saw from 6am to 10pm. I tried as many things as I could to deal with noise but I can’t change the fact that I am neurodivergent. I’ve decided to take whatever loss and sell. It’s not worth feeling suicidal and hopeless every day only because that’s the thing that makes financial sense
Can you install noise insulation in the home? Or get the kind of active noise filtering headsets which let voice through
