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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 28th, 2023

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  • Yeah but that’s a deceptive number. You can park a car in your driveway, put gas in it, and spend a few hundred bucks on maintenance every year. Keeping a 27’ boat in the water, and functioning, is far more expensive. Trailers, dock fees, cleaning, wintering, replacing broken things, engine work, it all adds up. The longer it goes without maintenance, the more expensive it becomes. You can’t sail a boat until it sinks into the water the way you might drive a car until it dies. The end of a boat’s life is often the most expensive part.

    They say a boat is a hole in the water you throw money into.



  • Are you using superglue to close cuts on your fingertips? Or are you trying to create a thick pad of glue to act as a protective layer? Do you already have a blister or cut? Or are you trying to prevent one?

    To close a cut or cover a blister, superglue works in a pinch.

    As padding to avoid blisters or cuts, it doesn’t really work. If you’re playing enough to cause a new blister, it just cracks and flakes off anyway. It might get you through a song if you’re desperate. Long term, you’re better off getting your fingers calliused and learning to play with different fingerings to take the pressure off an injury.

    Pros have to go on stage and play. If you’re playing for yourself, for fun, you can take a few days off and let your fingertips heal.








  • Okey dokey, I’ll spell it out for you again, on the off chance this sticks this time around. Previously I was speaking generally, but this deep into the thread it’s just you and me, so I’ll try to be more direct.

    You’re the asshole this meme is referring to.

    You are the cat, Tom (if you’re unfamiliar with the cartoon). You’re angry at me because you think I don’t understand you, and if I did understand you, I’d realize you are just trying to help. I fully understand what you’re saying, and I understand you think you’re helping, and I understand you think you should offer advice to neurodivergent people struggling to coexist with you.

    That is precisely why you are the asshole.

    It does not matter if your intentions are sincere.

    I’m going to repeat that, because you don’t seem to be listening very well and it’s important.

    IT DOES NOT MATTER IF YOUR INTENTIONS ARE SINCERE.

    It doesn’t matter if your advice is good advice. It doesn’t matter if your advice might work.

    Telling a person with ADHD, a medical condition that makes it difficult to do things that seem simple to neurotypical people, to “just make a list and do one step at a time” is callous, myopic, and, at least in your case, obstinate.

    You’re being told that your advice is unwanted, and you’re like “but what advice am I supposed to give? How am I supposed to fix you if you don’t want my help? Why won’t you just tell me what I can say that will fix you so that I can say it to some other neurodivergent person I work with to fix them? I’m losing clients over here, I need an answer to fix this.”

    There isn’t a single, simple fix that works for everyone. There are techniques and methods that can help, but you’re asking the wrong question. The question isn’t “what advice can I give someone?” The question is, “how can I help?” You see how that’s a different question?

    I can’t tell you what to say to your coworker, because I don’t know what will help them. And this is critical for you to understand, neither do you. Making “just” suggestions, like the ones in the example, are based on your presumptions that the person 1) hasn’t thought of those things, 2) would benefit from doing those things, and 3) wants you to be the one to solve their neurological condition. Even if all of those things are true, making those presumptions still makes you the asshole in the situation.

    And if you still don’t see how, then maybe I’m not the only neurodivergent person in this conversation.


  • That’s a actually apt. You don’t know if they tried prosthetics, if they have prosthetics, or if prosthetics would even help. You’re not a doctor, and you’re not their doctor, and you say “just 3d print a new leg” because you saw someone do that in a new article.

    Wearing a prosthetic leg can be taxing, and painful, and destabilizing. It requires a whole apparatus and special exercises, and balancing on two would likely require crutches as well.

    Most of all, the person you’re talking to probably knows more about their condition and their options than you do. So saying “just get prosthetics” is not a helpful suggestion at all.

    Someone with ADHD who rejects your “helpful” advice isn’t choosing to remain unhelped. They’re saying you’re an asshole for thinking you’re the first person to come up with “just keep a calandar. That’s what works for me.”