Neurotypicals often feel like they’re not being listened to if a person doesn’t make eye-contact. I sympathise with their anxiety, but I would like them to understand that if I am forcing myself to make eye contact (or to appear like I am), that takes me so much focus that I’m less likely to be following what they’re saying.
This one is more of an ADHD thing for me, but a similar one is that I would like them to understand that if I am fiddling with something with my hands, this is actually an indicator that I am listening to them (for me, tasks like crochet, embroidery or origami are things that I do to occupy my hands and the part of my brain that gets distracted).
Those are a couple of examples, but more broadly, I’d just like for neurotypical people to understand that their experiences aren’t universal. Furthermore, I believe that clinging to a sense of normality is harmful because of how it flattens the variety of human experience — even if we’re comparing neurotypicals to neurotypicals: “Normal” is a box that I have caused myself severe harm trying to fit in, but I see that same kind of harm being caused to neurotypicals who can contort themselves enough to force themselves into the box. Just because someone can fit in doesn’t mean they will be comfortable or happy in that mould — it sometimes makes me glad that I’m autistic, because I get to explore who I am beyond that box of prescriptive normality.
That’s the approach I tend to take nowadays too. I sometimes get some flack for it, but I’m not going to set myself on fire to keep others warm; burnout almost killed me, so allowing myself space to be autistic isn’t just self care — it’s survival
I was watching something from dropout tv, and someone at one point was put on the spot, got overwhelmed, and said “nobody observe me,” which has stuck with me. I wish there were some signal you could display in public to not receive attention from people. Nothing will tip me from overstimulated to tears or tears to blubbering faster than people asking me if I’m okay. I totally get that when people see an adult woman on the verge of tears in public, they want to do something about it if they can, but I wish they wouldn’t.
Do you remember what what show and episode this was?
I feel this so much. Just leave me alone until I can calm myself down enough to function like normal. But no, clearly when I was screaming at my parents to just leave me alone, that was, for some reason, the exact opposite of what they thought they need to do.
I believe it was a more recent (last 2-3 seasons) episode of either game changer or make some noise, but I don’t remember much else that’s useful. I know it was a woman/femme comedian, and think it was either Vic Michaelis, Izzy Roland, Erika Ishii, or a one-time/infrequent contestant for either of those shows.
What sort of accommodations would you like?
Just people not being inconsiderate, ableist pieces of shit in general.
Someone could proof-read and edit forms so all the questions can be answered truthfully and they are possible to fill in.
Yes, can the single-selection multiple choices please be mutually exclusive, thank you for your attention to this matter
Neurotypicals often feel like they’re not being listened to if a person doesn’t make eye-contact. I sympathise with their anxiety, but I would like them to understand that if I am forcing myself to make eye contact (or to appear like I am), that takes me so much focus that I’m less likely to be following what they’re saying.
This one is more of an ADHD thing for me, but a similar one is that I would like them to understand that if I am fiddling with something with my hands, this is actually an indicator that I am listening to them (for me, tasks like crochet, embroidery or origami are things that I do to occupy my hands and the part of my brain that gets distracted).
Those are a couple of examples, but more broadly, I’d just like for neurotypical people to understand that their experiences aren’t universal. Furthermore, I believe that clinging to a sense of normality is harmful because of how it flattens the variety of human experience — even if we’re comparing neurotypicals to neurotypicals: “Normal” is a box that I have caused myself severe harm trying to fit in, but I see that same kind of harm being caused to neurotypicals who can contort themselves enough to force themselves into the box. Just because someone can fit in doesn’t mean they will be comfortable or happy in that mould — it sometimes makes me glad that I’m autistic, because I get to explore who I am beyond that box of prescriptive normality.
I’ve gave up with even trying this anymore, if they feel it’s rude then they can deal with me asking to repeat themselves which they never want to.
That’s the approach I tend to take nowadays too. I sometimes get some flack for it, but I’m not going to set myself on fire to keep others warm; burnout almost killed me, so allowing myself space to be autistic isn’t just self care — it’s survival
I was watching something from dropout tv, and someone at one point was put on the spot, got overwhelmed, and said “nobody observe me,” which has stuck with me. I wish there were some signal you could display in public to not receive attention from people. Nothing will tip me from overstimulated to tears or tears to blubbering faster than people asking me if I’m okay. I totally get that when people see an adult woman on the verge of tears in public, they want to do something about it if they can, but I wish they wouldn’t.
Do you remember what what show and episode this was?
I feel this so much. Just leave me alone until I can calm myself down enough to function like normal. But no, clearly when I was screaming at my parents to just leave me alone, that was, for some reason, the exact opposite of what they thought they need to do.
I believe it was a more recent (last 2-3 seasons) episode of either game changer or make some noise, but I don’t remember much else that’s useful. I know it was a woman/femme comedian, and think it was either Vic Michaelis, Izzy Roland, Erika Ishii, or a one-time/infrequent contestant for either of those shows.
Oh! Ok cool. I’m waiting to to watch the newest season of game changer with my partner. thanks for the info.
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