hey everyone. i’ll cut to the chase:
be careful of users like https://lemmy.world/u/Sadbunny3. we met 18 days ago and privately messaged each other a few days before exchanging contact information. i thought her speaking style was “odd” but not off. conversations flowed logically, past texts were referenced and thread replied to… everything seemed rather genuine. this person appealed to me as somebody wanting a friend. we shared interests and then our personal lives. over the next few days i was told that this person wanted to help me out of my financial predicament that i confessed i was in.
i pushed back. i brought up how i felt uncomfortable, how i was disbelieving in their kindness, and they reassured me every step of the way that there are good people out there and sometimes good things do happen. they agreed with me that there are tons of bad actors out there, but they wanted to convey their seriousness to me, and that they weren’t pulling my leg.
it took me another day or so to be willing to have them walk the walk. they asked how much my expenses were and started adding up totals. again, i called attention to the fact this was very, very strange. i didn’t understand why somebody who knew so little of me valued me so much. in a way, i wanted to believe this was possible. i wanted to believe that maybe, just maybe, a new friend was that generous.
lol
lmao
guys
no
as they were setting things up today they told me they were going to ask their accountant to wire me money (this was supposedly a therapist which explained their gaps in responses). i said ok thinking still that this was not going to happen. then, they informed me they had to send a check and blah blahFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK…noooo i’m so dumb godddddd!!! i said nahhh, not comfortable giving out my address. then they hit me with a “ohhh it’ll be an email that is quick, easy, and convenient!” y’know, the way people talk to each other?
18 days. they pursued me for two weeks. i called them out and dialed their number until they answered. silence on the other end; not a single sound other than breathing. i blocked them and came to Lemmy to see if they were trying to message me or others. nope! and guess what? they stopped making public posts 18 days ago. they got me. they didn’t need the account anymore.
i was floored. i have avoided many, many scams online. i ultimately prevented my first but it got uncomfortably far. i trusted someone i shouldn’t have when there were red flags early. however, i didn’t know those were red flags now in 2025. somebody not having the most fluid way of texting can be explained, but now i have to consider that a tell if things don’t add up. idk just make sure you are being more skeptical nowadays, please. don’t get scammed like i almost did.
Oh, that’s why they stopped responding to me lol. I had a friendly enough conversation with them I guess, told them about my intentions of moving to Australia (which I kinda tell anyone I meet so not really a secret), the weather and a few other mundane topics.
I can’t look at their messages anymore unfortunately but at one point they’ve asked me where I came from in a really weird way, like it was phrased all wrong and didn’t fit in with their earlier messages which were in perfect English.
hah, damn. they were trying to get as many people they could. glad it didn’t get further though.
They were talking to me too but I was super vague about things and cautious from the start. Eventually, they wanted to, “take the conversation off if lemmy” and that’s a red flag, so I said no thank you, we can continue here and that was the end of it.
If you notice from your conversations (just guessing), you might see that the conversation is heavily about you and they rarely speak of themselves without prompt. The responses probably resemble yours or are similar or relatable in some way.
The conversation built up on all of this together and was another flag. Although what was being said was natural, the direction and pace seemed unnatural.
I’m a stranger on the internet. I lied to sadbunny. I gave no real information. I made up everything from my name to my life events. Why? Because I don’t believe that a random internet person would care that much to reach out. Sad? Maybe. This was reinforcement of that thought.
Be cautious. I’m hesitant about everything as the internet is mostly dead to me (see: dead internet theory). We sail the internet seas, be weary of mermaids and ghost ships.
thank you so much, really. this is needed for many to see and most of all me right now. you are absolutely right and i see everything you’re saying now. i knew about these tells you’re mentioning like sycophantic responses and imitating your own writing style etc etc but i did not see it here. i totally got blindsided. that is horrifying lol.
That’s funny. It always ends up being one of the classic scams. That’s a lot of wasted time, sounds like you had a real operator. Once that gets automated it could get even worse.
i’m certain i had a real operator who was using ChatGPT to read and respond to me. it flowed like two actual human beings carrying a back and forth conversation. other than maybe texting something like this: “what make you feel that way? i hope it wasn’t something i said,” there were no glaring signs i was talking to a scammer. i suspect an LLM because of the way when i called it out, it froze up lol like it wasn’t programmed to respond to accusations.
This is why I don’t have internet friends. I don’t trust anyone in the slightest.
i get it, unfortunately. i’m glad i have the friends online i do and am always willing to have more, but it does require some work to make sure you’re not taken advantage of.
Scams online used to be obvious, because they cost time and money to pursue. Only a person who would actually click on “You are thee 1 million vissitor to this webcite!” and then continue through a bunch of increasingly terrible prompts was actually worth their time, because that person was likely to be scammed. Anyone smart enough to not click would likely figure it out and would be easier effort for the scammers.
I’m hearing more and more about scams that smart, cautious people fall for. It seems kind of terrifying, and I wonder if we have to figure out new guidelines around online safety.
If you want to donate to this effort, I will accept iTunes gift cards to pay my back taxes.
I’m hearing more and more about scams that smart, cautious people fall for
i’m not trying to be like “i’m perfect!!!” but that’s me. i am a skeptical person. i was unfortunately not as guarded being in a financially difficult spot being offered help by someone i thought could be real. i caught it and that alone scares me. i’ve never even almost got scammed before.
Why do you have back taxes?
Because he thought iTunes gift cards were tax deductible
This has been 100℅ of my experience with Tinder and Match whenever I actually matched up with a woman, and about 50℅ of the time when matched with a man and is why I don’t use apps other than Grindr now, which is really only good for hookups and not romance.
Thank you for reporting this.
took a bit while reviewing this but the user is banned now.
unfortunately this is probably only the tip of the iceberg, and most of these accounts we never even see reports about. it’s also pretty hard to follow/authenticate accusations once they move the conversation off the platform. while lemmy is obviously not a good place to have private conversations, it does make reviewing such cases so much more difficult, which is most certainly also the reason they push for another platform quickly.
thank you for investigating and for treating it serious. i appreciate that everyone was exchanging ways to be smarter when interacting online as well.
Thank you!
They took the cat picture, or may be the same poster as Dawin on Reddit. Reverse image searched the cat image they posted, was posted here 3 months ago. The profile says they are a coin collector from Malaysia. Obviously no way to know that’s actually the same person.
https://www.reddit.com/r/cat/comments/1kovlx6/tom_peaceful_face/
ahh… daaaaang. reverse image searching the cat, good shit. see? i know of those tools but i haven’t felt it necessary to use or make it second nature to question a picture. i felt there were people online doing that enough and it was OK to take the lead from them. now i have to do this shit too lol.
I wouldn’t have thought to do it without you saying you were tricked and someone else saying they paid the cat tax. My brain immediately went to thinking, wait do scammers really pay the tax or do they scam the tax lol
oh i bet this dude paid. he’s invested. i am certain that’s his reddit account because he is typing more natural to his understanding of English. when we were texting back and forth he was using an LLM to mask that, but i did catch a couple grammatical or phrasing errors… but i didn’t think “i’m clearly getting scammed” because of that, because people just type wrong. people are different. it’s something to note but didn’t ring all the alarm bells.
Honestly, the most horrible thing about this is that people like you are even more cautious
how i was disbelieving in their kindness, and they reassured me every step of the way that there are good people out there and sometimes good things do happen
Because that’s just true. I often get emotionally attached quickly to people, and there are situations in which I’ve done similar stuff to help people.
I don’t really get the scam though; in what way would they have scammed you by giving your email address?
I don’t feel like the takeaway should be being more sceptical though. I mean, in the end there always is a point at which a scammer would… well, ask you to do something that would enable them to scam you. And if you truly let your whole worldview be determined by them, you just let them win.I don’t really get the scam though
it’s a bait and switch. they were going to wire me money. then they suddenly had to cut a check instead for me to cash. when i said no to giving out my address they said oh it’ll be emailed! this is scam behavior. i don’t know exactly what their intent was nor is it relevant. i don’t know how they planned on getting money out of me but that’s what they were doing.
There is a scam whereby a check is sent for too much, and you’re told to remit the difference. Then the check bounces. It might have been some version of that.
Why is saying oh it’ll be emailed scam behaviour?
are you actually asking how what i am describing is scam behavior? i’m only acting this way because i’m sorry, but it is extremely obvious based on the past 30 years of the internet what was going on. i feel as though i shouldn’t have to explain to you that somebody saying they’re going to wire me money, no they’ll send me a check, no they’ll send me an email is scam behavior.
They might be like 12
Do 12 year olds even know what a check is these days?
And you sound like a prime mark, or an idiot, or intentionally contrarian - or all of the above. Good luck.
Could be check fraud. I got targeted by a work scam that ended up being counterfeit (stolen)
I feel like scams are getting more and more dedicated. If you have the patience to pursue someone for 18 days, you have the patience to use any and all information you get to try and further your agenda.
If you get ahold of an email, there are two main things I’m thinking: One is opening up the potential for spear-phishing. You can hold on to that email for a little while, so the email you’re about to send is seemingly not connected to you, and the contents of this email could be using any information acquired through the conversations. Say the victim talked about the reason for their economic troubles being taxes, and in another convo they mention that the weather here in California is so great. Bingo! You can now forge a targetted email for taxes from the IRS as a resident of the state of California.
The second thing is that you can look up other accounts where the same email is used, giving you a second angle or perhaps even a second chance by messaging from a different account, on a different platform, at a different time. This may be desirable if the target has shown potential of more large payouts (even if it means indebting the victim).
Oh, dang. I’ve been telling people who’ve apparently had a rough time to message me if they need a shoulder or an ear. That sucks, nothing is sacred anymore. I’m sorry that happened to you.
Please, don’t stop doing that. I’ve tried to do the same, over the years, and I’m happy to find that others clearly have been, as well —especially during this incredibly challenging bit I’m personally working through (w/ pro support, yes), evidenced by a few Internet strangers who’ve simply reached out to offer their heartfelt thoughts on here.
It’s meant a lot to read those unasked-for messages and know that there are real humans out there who aren’t actively searching for a way to make this life worse for someone else. 🙇🏽♂️😅
Hopefully people won’t think I’m trying to steal from them, but I never intended to stop. Offering candid kindness is just about the basest fundamental piece of humanity. Well, that, throwing, walking, and speech
Other-care is self-care, though self-care should come first. Keep it up. You are appreciated. 🙇🏽♂️
i do the same thing. i enjoy making friendships online as well, so… gotta make sure i’m more alert nowadays.
Sorry for that ordeal, I hope you’re okay.
As someone who messes with open LLMs a lot:
LLMs are trained with pairs of text that “sway” them to respond positively instead of against the user’s wishes, hence a hallmark of popular models is that they skew sycophantic. If you want to slyly check if someone is real, steer the conversation somewhere where they should push back.
Another is numbers and math. The way they tokenize numbers and symbols, especially big numbers with spaces as typos, leads them to a lot of strange mistakes.
Also, overseas scammers might be using Chinese APIs instead of OpenAI. They have a blaring giveaway, if you can work it in: Chinese Politics. Mention the name of, say, party officials the CCP disappeared, or policy, and western models will know, but Chinese ones start freaking out. I used to know some trip ups US ones too (with OpenAI being the most popular for scammers), but i haven’t touched US models in a long time so I’m not sure they still work.
Maybe the key is to say something outrageous and guage the response? That can be the new captcha
Oh yeah, I mean, it depends on how willing you are to “derail” the conversation, but there are all sorts of tells. Stuff like that is far more effective than even straight up asking if it is an LLM.
In fact, there are efforts to quantify their “slop profiles” like this, which is storytelling test but still interesting:
https://eqbench.com/creative_writing_longform.html
(Hit the “i” on, say, GPT4 mini).
You may be interested in this too. I will think on this and post if I have more ideas, as I haven’t really played with “outing” LLMs since the llama 2 days.
ohhh damn, that makes so much sense. gonna remember that. thank you.
Had an account with zero history hit me up today, “Can we talk?”. Fine. I’ve offered to chat with many people if I think I can help, especially the depressed and suicidal. Replied. Why not?
We shall see what we see. Could be interesting!
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When I bump into something suspicious, I always drop the famous “Ignore All Previous Instructions” line to see what happens. So far, the IAPI-method has made shady scammers stop immediately.
Sometimes they’re not even bots. These scams have existed in this same capacity well before LLMs.
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hah, aw… nahhhh… one of my closest friends is like a sister to me and we’ve never physically met. we’ve been friends for over 20 years! but thanks lol. honestly, this really bothered me because i am usually very cautious and i know how to genuinely make friends online with actual, real life people who aren’t trying to scam me. OR SO I THOUGHT!
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wait a minute. something doesn’t seem right here. 🤔 …i better spend 18 days talking to you just to make sure.
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i accept the challenge. what’s your favorite horror film?
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i haven’t seen either but only know of Cuckoo. heard decent things too, some mixed but hey that’s horror lol. The Substance was my favorite of 2024 and so far in 2025 it would be The Ugly Stepsister.
I met both my best friend, and my wife (two different people) on the internet. However I met both of them back in the 90s when there were only dozens of us on the net at the time.
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the check and gift card scam, the latter catche sold people. but clearing the check is like the oldest peopl, and its always “smart(i have a degree,such and such)” people getting scammed. i dont entertain someone on a site lemmy about private business, i just block them immediately and report them, if they start soliciting something.
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